Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Tales from the Corporate Slave Ship

You know, Supa had an entirely different post ready for today, but this subject right here deserves some attention...

How many of you have fucking IDIOTS for co-workers, raise your hands? GOOD! Let this be the slam board to release all your stories and rants for all the stupid shit you must endure in the workplace on the regular.

First, lemme preface...I hate stupid questions. I hate stupid ass rhetorical questions, especially in the workplace, especially by stupid-ass people whom apparently seem to never tire of my screwface when they ask a stupid-ass question, i.e.

"Supa, can I give this to you to look at?"

"Supa, do you have a minute?"

"Supa, can I bother you for a sec?"

OOhhhhhhhh. ohhh!!! B*tch, if you wanna give me something, just give it to me. Mkay? Interjecting the phrase "can I" while simultaneously HANDING ME WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS is just inane, and in my opinion, annoyingly passive-aggressive. Just...get it over with, say what you gotta say, and miss me with all the bullshit. If you know you're bothering me and you know I don't HAVE A GODDAMN MINUTE, don't try to assuage me by stating the obvious in that faux polite tone. So, grow some ovaries and take my wrath like a real woman. Then get the hell up outta my office.

My boy Mr. Gobbledygook wrote a delightful description of his corporate days/daze, entitled
Pettiness Pending at Corporate Incorporated. Check him out, shit is hilarious. We need to start a fucking support group or something!!!

Whew. Need to go home and watch Office Space, and be glad I don't work for Lumbergh at Initec with those TPS reports.
Cause I got the memo..

That is all. Carry on!


Miss Ahmad said...

girl i'm feeling you! i was on a long ass break from working and it was sooo awesome, just to not have feel slave-like.

being back at work has reminded why it's work!

stay strong it's hump day!

Supa said...

Thanks, Glam. After the sweet weekend/holiday I had, this C.S.S. "bullshits" was just a shock to the system!!!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I agree with Miss Glam. Just hope the 'hump' day don't f$ck you!

Sorry, a lil hostile...

Zlogical said...

That movie was hilarious!

African girl, American world said...

work some more on that mean mug when they know not to even approach :)

Knockout Zed said...

My stupid ass co-workers come in the form of "staff", approximately 50 of 'em. "Can I talk to you for a second?" What does the pained expression on my face say, muthafucka?


Supa said...

Zed: My condolences. 50 employees?? lmao

onecoolhoney said...

LOL! Dayum. Girl, I feel you! Everybody thinks I'm the damn helpdesk! That includes coworkers AND friends and family. Don't even work at my firm and be calling me talmbout how do they fix their mail settings and how to do this in Word or how to do this in PowerPoint. Nice to be known as the expert, but dang!! Lemme lone! lol

Supa said...

OneCool Sis - Now you KNOW you'll continue to get harrassed 24/7, 'cause you're the Bomb Techie Diva!!!

Just start charging by way of food, gifts, and cash.

P said...

Supa, in the future you HAVE to repost this, this is the best ever. I think it kind of slammmed into the middle of all of your other stuff, and people have not had a chance to really read this. It's the best!

Furious Styles said...

I feel you sista. I have worked for a few monolitihic, conglomerate, corporate entities and I could write volumes on my experiences.

The cubes, we call home, are the most unsettling part of it all. Who said someone can just enter my cube? Or if I'm on the phone, that doesn't mean stand over my shoulder and listen to my conversation about why my kid is cutting up in school. Give me some privacy, please.

Let's not forget the hundreds of emails, voicemails, snail mail, phone calls, IMs, and then the person in your face with "Do you have a minute?" Once or twice, a few people almost got to see the real Oakland Ghetto in me.

I have decided that from now on, I prefer jobs with no email.

Supa said...

Furious: "The Cubes." I like that. And lmao @ somebody up in your grill while gettin' the low down on ya cuttin' up kids!"

I've been there!

Anonymous said...

Office space is one of my favorite movies. It just hits all the strange personalities dead on. The guy with the stapler fetish is so funny. But anyway, here's my story;
This white woman I worked with had issues, everyone knew it, but they kept it sort of hush hush. Well she put this sticker on my car in the garage that said, and I quote;
"You bastard, learn how to park your car." I confronted her, and guess who got into trouble? Um Hum, the aggresive hostile black chick...but I so enjoyed backing the moments ;)
SatisfiedSistah on the verge of doing some bad stuff to people in the office sometime