Monday, January 28, 2008

The (Hella Late) Oh?Eight! ('08) Update

Nombre: SupA SiSter

Age: 266 (dog years)

Current Moniker: The Brown Recluse

Alter Egos:Black Mamba, Jen Yu, Wonder Woman, Marla Singer, Celie,

Self Description: Impatient. Moody. Compassionate. Uselessly psychic. Skittish. Fickle. Sensitive. Smart Assy. Random. Selfish. Giving. Unpredictable. Charming. Anti-social. Vengeful. Sarcastic. Neat. Sappy. Loner. Sick, dark, dry sense of humor. High sass factor. Possessing varying degrees of psychological and emotional issues. Kinda cute. Intolerable.

Current Occupation: Woman Of Leisure.
(translation: Unemployed. Disabled. Retired. Whatever the check says.)

Current Relationship Status: Voluntarily celibate. Blooming infatuation with low doses of Xanax. Unethical crush on son’s therapist. Increased obsession with Clive Owen since watching “Shoot ‘Em Up.”

Current Addictions: Television. Nag champa incense. Yellow Tail Pinot Grigio. Having full fledged conversations with pet. Laziness. Writing Hate Mail. Pellegrino. Knock-knock jokes. Turkey Pepperoni. Frightening self-analysis. Legal Pills. Texting.

Current Repulsions: Sex. George Bush. Nervous breakdowns. Working. Weddings. Lengthy phone conversations. The grocery store. The criminal justice system. Email. War. Hannah Montana. Funerals. Drama. Blood pressure pills.

Current Skills: Power lounging. Excellent TiVo organization and show conflict resolution. Remembering to feed my children. Reading obsessively. Naps. Flawless Borat impersonations. My famous turkey lasagna. Never checking the mail.

Current Hobbies: Ordering take-out. Spying on neighbors. Wondering when hip-hop will just die. Painting. Writing movie quotes on walls and mirrors. Window shopping at Big Lots. Pretending not to speak English when bothered in public.Re-watching favorite movies obsessively: (Collateral, Heat, The Hours, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Memento, Good Will Hunting, Brown Sugar; Breakfast at Tiffany's, Ghost Dog, Little Miss Sunshine, the usual shit...)

Current Bad Habits: Cursing. Mumbling. Vodka. Rambling. Always misplacing the remote. Obsessive movie watching. (see above) Looking up everything imaginable on Wikipedia. Not playing well with others. Perfectionism. Repeating myself. Talking to Myself. Repeating myself. OCD.

Favorite Words: Tomfoolery. Fisticuffs. Quagmire. Gruesome. Malfeasance. Hooliganism. Audacity. Fuck.

Favorite Random Responses:1) Escobar season has returned. 2) It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again. 3) Bitch. don't have a future. 4) Gosh.

Last Year’s Highlights: Starting own business. Meeting some interesting folks. Slapping a guy in a bar who deserved it after a round of tequila shots. Birthday in Jamaica. That’s….about it.

Last Year’s Lowlights: The last guy I had sex with. My broken Ipod. Appropriate accusations of becoming a recluse. Lil' sister's murder trial. Then...Justin. Falling off my blog game.

2008 Goals: Write more letters. Stop trying to figure it all out, man. (in this lifetime). Apologize more. Put up with bull-shit less. Check my email. Start dating..and not just the brothas. Attempt to answer phone and keep disappearing acts to a reasonable minimum. Learn Portuguese. Write something that's important to me. Take up photography. Appreciate even the tiniest things. Pay my taxes.