Monday, December 19, 2005

Supa Sister Does Not Wish to Hold the Baby


So one of my Supa Friends just brought her baby boy home from the hospital last night. It’s her and her husband’s third little rugrat. His name is Brent, he’s cute as all get out, and he’s happy and healthy. Yay!

But alas...Supa giggled and cooed from afar….she had no discernible desire to hold the little sucker. Nowadays, those miniature humans give her the creeps. Babies, especially the cute ones, are so fucking deceiving it oughta be a crime. Supa has two Ruff Ryders of her own, so she knows of what she speaks.

I mean really, when I think about it, just the idea that at some point you fell in love with some guy and you married him and one night he got on top of you and shot his genetic material up inside you and for almost a freaking year you had this unknown person growing from within like some kind of science fiction shit and then after many excruciating mind-numbing hours you gave painful birth to said little person who then needed every fucking iota of your time brain cells and energy and then the years passed and somewhere in the mix the whole marriage thing bit the dust yet the law says you’re both still required to raise and guide and feed this thing that keeps growing and eating all the Fruit Loops and has all kinds of wants and demands like Blackberry’s and the latest Jordans and X-boxes and new cars and shit and that this little seemingly harmless thing eventually grew into a spoiled know-it-all teenager who says mom can you give me a hundred bucks or mom can you please get out of my room, well, the whole idea just grosses Supa out a little.

That is all. Carry on.

12 comments:

Cocoa Girl said...

Absolutely hilarious! I actually don't have any babes, so this puts the baby-to-rugrats bit in Supa perspective! LOL

Supa said...

Hey. Just trying to call it how I see it, Cocoa Girl!! lol I'm sure every chick isn't as traumatized by motherhood as I. :)

Ja said...

Oooh I'm feeling you on this one. Been there done that. It's amazing it's kind of like bungy jumping, once you've done it and survived it, there is no need to do it again. In addition...HOLD THE BABY? Dayum...this sweater is 100% Cashmere. NO CAN DO!

But Congrats to the parents!

Lāā said...

I thought that I was the only one! I had three of my own and it was ok if I held them like a football, but other parents don't take too kindly to you manhandling their babies. That's why I don't hold them.

Supa said...

@ JA - LOL! Damn right. But I was rocking a T-shirt and still had no desire...

@ LaaLaa - RMAOTFL! The football hold. Classic.

African girl, American world said...

First off ruff rider #2 is killing it with pose and boots! What!!!

And ruff rider #1 - I love boys who read...*wiping away tear* it just warms my heart.

After 2 kids..I'm the one still running over parent of newborns and offering them babysitting coupons - I love babies :)

That Girl Tam said...

I am soooooooo mad at lil mama and your comment on her suffering from Chronic Princess Syndrome...LMAO!! HAHAHAHAHAHA...damn, I never knew there was a name for it...I have it too...I usually just take a couple of St. John's Worts and go chill somewhere so I don't scare off the natives! AHAHAHAHA!! Hmm...wonder where she gets that from? And that pose - those boots! HAHAHAHA I ain't mad at her...wish I had a girl!! She'd be the illest Princess on the block!!

Cocoa Girl said...

Ok, I'm back again. I am totally hooked on babies. I just received the best (hands down) bday phone message of my life. It was my 2-year-old Godson singing an inaudible version of happy birthday to me with his mom. I don't see how ya'll can diss the little ruggies so much. However, I must admit that all of my grandiose visions of motherhood involve fly maternity clothes, less than 20 lbs weight gain, cute, soft, cuddly babies (that don't cry, mind you), cuter baby clothes and compliments from passerbys oogling my cute baby in it's cute clothes. Messy diapers, smart-a$$ mouths, PTA meetings and divorce, just somehow never make it into the picture...LOL!

R

Takeitoutside said...

LOL!..I totally feel where you're coming from. I don't have any crumbsnatchers of my own, and I neeeeever hold new babies. They creep me out.

Dizzy said...

Too funny!! It aint that bad! lol

mrs.tj said...

Too much! I do not hold babies either...I don't even know why. I always say I don't want to be jinxed. Plus they are little germ carriers. Whateva!
holla!

Genesis said...

the baby has to be old enough to sit up on their own...then i hold them...when theyre in the crawling stage...when they are like 2 weeks or months old? nah man...negative