Friday, December 29, 2006

Happy Holidays (and Puberty) at the Supa Pad....

So Supa and RR#2
were getting all primped and ready to indulge in some after-Xmas shopping this morning, and we so just happened to bump into each other while getting dressed - post-shower. (only one downstairs bathroom - growl.)

Interjection: Supa was well aware that The Girl (RR#2- now 12 and a half) had been growing her "buds" since late summer. However - Supa was ill prepared to witness the growth happening uh....down below.

Let's resume.

So Supa, fighting a case of wicked case of naseau while witnessing her youngest child's blossoming womanhood, fell swiftly into liberal mom mode and began to (again) blithely discuss with The Girl, the wonders of becoming a young lady, and how to honor and take care of oneself physically, emotionally and otherwise, and all sorts of other female womanly shit, blah, blah blah.

All the while, Supa couldn't wait to get on the horn to advise, plot, and plan with RR#2's daddy - The Supa-Ex. (divorced 7 years. Now we're BFF)

Conversation as follows:

Supa: Okay listen. Our girl's growing her pubes. The buds - I know you knew. But the pubes. Did you know that?!?

Supa-Ex: Nah. Damn. I didn't know that. would I know that? She doesn't even let me walk into the bathroom when she's in there!

Supa: (mindlessly rambling) Yeah, so I figure she's got about 5, 6 months tops before she gets her cycle. I mean it's ok...we've been talking about this stuff since she's was nine...we knew it was coming. Damn. Our little girl is growing up. So beautiful. I think I'm gonna be sick.

Supa-Ex: Well, Supa. We're doing a good job. Been schooling her early on. And it's a damn good thing I carry a nine for a living. I'll pop a cap in a fool's ass, any knucklehead even think of touchin' my babygirl. What you wearing?

Supa: Pink pajama pants and a boy-beater. Sittin' in front of the fireplace.

Supa-Ex: Panties?

Supa: Yep. Black bikinis. But bra-less. Titties all loose.

Supa-Ex: Oooh...

Supa: So, have another one of those daddy-daughter talks, okay?

Supa-Ex: No doubt. I'll handle it. She'll be fine. You'll be fine...

Supa: Hey, you know they just killed that mufucka Sadaam? I mean, I turned on the news at 6 and they were still transferring his ass. Watched a movie, turned the news back on, and next thing I know, they done hung his butt!

Supa-Ex: Pour out some liquor!

Supa: Gangsta down! Is there a heaven for a "G?" Think he kickin' it with Tookie?!

Supa-Ex: No tellin'. So, hey. Duty calls. Car pursuit on the 405. Gotta bounce. Turn on the news.

Supa: Okay, Supa Daddy. Handle ya biz. I'll flash you if I see ya.

Supa-Ex: (sigh) Pubic hair, hunh?

Supa: Pubes. Our little girl...

Supa and Supa-Ex: Goooddd daaamn....

Supa: Later, Mr. LAPD. Don't beat nobody's ass.

Supa-Ex: Take your panties off.

Supa: Pervert. Tell your new wife to take her panties off.

Supa-Ex: Aw, that's cold-

Supa: CLICK.

Happy fucking holidays!!



Saturday, December 23, 2006


(my favorite Jamaican sunset)

....the spirit of being alive! Happy Holidays and all that good ish!

(Thanks for all the words of wisdom, compassion, and encouragement
on the last post, Blogger Fam. Much love.)

Monday, December 18, 2006

Real Talk

"everyone who loses somebody
wants revenge on someone..
on God if they can't find anyone else..."

I'm thankful school's done! (for now) So, now I can get back to things I've long neglected; like washing the car, catching up on laundry, re-embracing my & others blogs, watching the Ti-Voed episodes of 30 Rock and Nip/Tuck, ironing out the wrinkles in my social/romantic life. Catching a movie. Downloading some new music. Being able to chill, for a minute.

Reflect. Absorb.

But, yeah. It's also that time of year. The time of year that demands a certain amount of holiday cheer that I can't seem to muster. The same time I usually flee, unable to fake it, and take refuge on a Carribean island where I can wrap myself in warmth and thoughts and memories of years past.

For the last four years, since mommy died five days before Christmas (2002) and my little sis's murdered body was found in the woods (2003) - both on December 20th - I just haven't been able to deal with the holidays. The island of Jamaica has been my sanctuary. It's a tradition for which I've been graciously thankful; Christmas in the Carribean. Sadness, rum punch, and a tropical sunset seems so much easier to bear. But I won't have the luxury this year. Too many things going on. Good things, positive things...though for a variety of reasons, I'm forced to stay put. (much to the disappointment of a certain dreamy-eyed Jamaican cutie...hey George) *wink*

But on the real. School has kept me constructively distracted over the past few months. Distracted enough for me to not obsess over the fact that my sister's murder trial is set to start in a few weeks. Imagine that. I still come home and have to remind myself that I can't call her, to let her know I got an A on my anatomy exam. To ask her to help me take my braids down. To bitch at her about something or another. Big sister shit. Why hasn't she called? It's been three years and I still have these crazy lapses. Same thing with mom. Starting to wonder if it'll always be this way. Death and loss are such a mindfuck. Repeatedly trying to adjust to the new normal..

But, yo. Some strange shit has been running through my head lately. Like - am I really ready to face this muthafucker down in court? What would happen if I just didn't go to the trial? I'd swore I could never step foot in the state of Georgia, ever again. On the soil where my sister lost her life. And now I'm supposed to get on a plane and go there for a criminal trial? Could I do that? Or...could I live with myself if I didn't go? Fuck. Will I be able to conduct myself if I do?

I mean, I've worked real hard on cleansing myself of the anger, hatred, malicious revenge plots and hopes of a violent prison-style sodomy rape against this dude. Lately, I guess you could say I've slowly approached a feeling of wavering indifference. (on a good day) But I suspect it all might change if/when I'm in the same room with this fool. I mean, this fuck drove my lil' sis to her death. Plotted the whole thing. Escorted her out his car, then shot her in the back of the head with a 9 millimeter then rolled her down a ditch. Stripped her naked then covered her with leaves and left her to die. While she was six months pregnant with their child. Belly showin' and everything. A little niece I never got to see or hold. I'm still angry. Not as fucking angry as I use to be, but still pretty pissed enough. Still hurt, on a more than a few different levels. My soul is definitely lighter, but don't misunderstand. I'm still working on that "forgiveness" shit.

Am I ready to face all this? (the trial) Can I live with myself if I don't....I just don't know, ya'll. I've been in a real good space lately, and having to revisit all of this in a concrete way is giving me mixed feelings.

Life is a wonderful tragedy.

Monday, December 11, 2006


A cyber round of mojitos for everyone!! 'Cause ya girl handled her bizness and pulled down an A on her anatomy final. Oh, excuse me - A +.

Whaaat? Yep. Supa was able to intelligently identify and articulate why the cardiovascular process is a closed-looped system and what role the intercostals play in the respiratory process and the myriad of functions of lattisimus dorsi and quadratus lumburom and what muscles are synergistic and antagonistic and blah blah BLAH!

I ACED THAT SHYT!!! In the immortal words of Lester Burnham: It's a great thing when you realize you have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do...

So, gotta go reward myself with some new boots now. Like these or these or these. Heh. (Supa is soooo glad that shit is OVA!!!) Yes! Yes! Yes!!!!!

Thanks for the love, Blogger Fam. And anon - if you want your prize, hit a sista up on email.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Supa the Schoolgirl....

That's right boys and girls, Supa is furiously studying her azz off in preparation for this week's final....and the shyt is no joke.(!!) Like, I didn't realize when I signed up for this course, that I'd end up being damn near pre-med. But it's all good. I'ma cram this whole semester into my brain within the next few days, then miraculously forget it all once the test is done. (ha! not really) Wish me luck!!!

Meanwhile, Supa's got a lil' something fun for ya. I will send a complimentary copy of 3P to the first person who can answer these questions: (1) What are the muscles of scapular stabilazation and EACH of their functions, (2) what's the strongest muscle in the body, and (3) define the ASIS and where it's located.

(does all this make your head hurt? welcome to my world!!!)


Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Author Bebe Moore Campbell, Dead at 56

Man. Got home, checked email, and wasn't ready for this one! Bebe Moore Campbell was a favorite in this household, my mom loved her work, and my auntie just finished 72 hour hold. 56 years old? So sad, but she lived passionately and blessed us with her talent. Prayers to her family, friends, and all who knew and loved her via her writing.

don't be afraid your life will end
be afraid it will never begin

Live large and wide, Blogger Fam...

Monday, November 27, 2006

Legal Gangstas

wonder if every time
they shoot a black boy
we shoot a cop
every time they kill a black man
we kill a cop
wonder if the accident rate
would go down expotentially...
~Nikki Giovanni

Condolences to Sean Bell, his family, fiancee, children & friends

Can you kill
Can you kill
Can a nigger kill a honkie
Can a nigger kill the Man
Can you kill nigger
Huh? nigger can you
Do you know how to draw blood
Can you poison
Can you stab-a-Jew
Can you kill huh? nigger
Can you kill
Can you run a protestant down with your
'68 El Dorado
(that's all they're good for anyway)
Can you kill
Can you piss on a blond head
Can you cut it off
Can you kill
A nigger can die
We 'aint got to prove we can die
We got to prove we can kill
They sent us to kill
Japan and Africa
We policed europe
Can you kill
Can you kill a white man
Can you kill the nigger
in you
Can you make your nigger mind
Can you kill your nigger mind
And free your black hands to
Can you kill
Can a nigger kill
Can you shoot straight and
Fire for good measure
Can you splatter their brains in the street
Can you kill them
Can you lure them to bed and kill them
We kill in Vietnam
for them
We kill for UN and NATO and SEATO and US
And everywhere for all alphabel but
Can we learn to kill WHITE for BLACK
Learn to kill niggers
Learn to be Black men

~ The True Import of Present Dialogue, Black vs. Negro
Nikki Giovanni

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Hot Damn!!

Supa is way past excited. And why, you implore? Because RR#1 got a J-O-B!! Yessss. Supa will now be accepting incremental payments from boychild to apply toward excessive grocery consumption over the past 17 years.

I'm infinitely more excited than he is, okay? Got me ironin' his work shirt & keepin' up with his work schedule and shyt. Say it loud and proud, young man: WELCOME TO BURGER KING, HOW MAY I HELP YOU!!

sheeeiittt...Supa 'aint got NO PROBLEMS ganking some of that minimum wage chedda. Ha. But even betta than alla that - I'm proud of the lad. Oh we've had our moments, but despite it all, RR#1 has blossomed into a delightful and decent human being. Even though he still regularly neglects to flush the damn toilet after he's pissed in it, oh, 'bout three or four times. Disgusting, right? Yeah. We go 'head up ova that shit.

But Supa loves that kid.

stay tuned. (big grin)

Monday, November 20, 2006

My Favorite Bigot...

"Cracker? You call me a cracker-ass, nigger?"
~ White Boy Who Speaks His Mind, circa 2006

KKKramer! You racist fuck
. I kinda liked your ass.

You know, I'm always intrigued when folks seem to spontaneously lose their mutha fuckin' minds. In public.

I'm sure most of ya'll have seen and heard by now, Michael Richards aka Cosmo Kramer said some racist shit he's probably been dying to spew on camera his whole fucking life. Whatever, yo. What you gonna do. We let the word nigga fall out our mouths like it's the thing to do, so I can't even get in KKKramer's ass about that one. That shit is a wash, far as I'm concerned.

But it's Supa's humble opinion - when you start to talkin' about lynching a black man, then gotdammit you betta watch ya back.

At any rate. If Supa got upset each time a jew white boy voiced how he really felt about black folks, she'd never have time to enjoy her melanin-enhanced life. Let alone, shop for cute shoes.

So fuck 'em.

PS - I'm still trynta figure out if these were authentic urban brothas who were the recipients of this tirade. The dudes from around my way woulda put this fool on his back. I'm just sayin'.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

The Big Three Hunnid!

my whole life is real
morning, noon, and nights is real
what I spit and write is real
my own life is ill!
a fantastic beautiful mess
a [sista] in america, the usual stress
life goin in every direction
but rewind...
~ Mos Def, "Life is Real"

So check it. It's ya girl Supa's 300th post. (whaaatt?!) Wow. Dammit, what a journey. And I've been trying for a whole week to write a post and touch on everything I wanted say. But you know what? I couldn't. It was just too much. The happenings of this last year (the good, the bad, the all of it!) are just too broad to be contained in one post. So hit up those archives!(and more new news to come.....)

Just suffice it to say that Life is Real! Ya girl has come a looonng way. I'm grateful. For real for real. Peep my most recent gratitude list:

good health
RR#1 and #2
my ride-or-die family and friends
waking up in the morning
being off work and really enjoying life
being in school
the ability to feel and think and write
the new friends I'm making
the new things I'm learning
the new life I'm leading
being single and happy and free
being able to pay my bills
living in this country
having options and infinite possibilities
being me
having a house, a car, a computer & a comfortable life
this day

And I'm grateful to all the readers, lurkers, regulars, friends, fam bam, lovers, and haters who help keep my supa cyber-world spinnin'.

Real talk. Love ya'll fools.

btw- what's on your gratitude list?

Supa, out!

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Happiness is...

Seeing your Pooch smile after you finally break down and buy her some doggy stairs.

Shut up.

Quotable: V for Vendetta

V has been Supa's latest movie obsession. It's intelligently wicked...on so many levels. Go peep it. Movie review to come. Sidenote: Supa truly feels she shoulda/coulda played Evey (Natalie Portman's role...) Don't they know colored girls can be revolutionaries too? Ha! Somebody betta ask somebody....

Anyway. Some fly ass quotables:

"Our integrity sells for so little...but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us. But within that inch, we are free. It is small, and it is fragile, and it is the only thing in the world worth having.

"People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people!"

"An idea can change the world."

Have a great weekend, Blogger Fam..

Monday, November 06, 2006

Supa Begs: Please Vote Tomorrow... we can get this lying muthafuckas off my TV SCREEN!!!

I' Damn!!! These fools knockin' on my door, ringin' my home phone, takin' up all the radio and tv airtime n shit. Don't they know, Supa would pretty much vote for a monkey right now just to get some goddamn peace up in this bitch!

At any rate - go vote.
Exercise your right, black peoples. Because inside every American is an Islamic fundamentalist dying to get out.

(Let your president tell it...)

(Irrelevant pre-election sidenote: Bill Clinton left a "vote for my guy" recorded audio message on my cellie the otha day. That was kinda cool. Bill sounds like a straight up mack, don't he? Love him.)

Anyhow. Ya girl did her thug thizzle on her midterm, so a sista feelin' kinda right. Thanks for the tips, P!!!

Happy fuckin' Monday, Blogger Fam!

Friday, November 03, 2006

Oh Lawd...

Whiny White Girl Alert * Whiny White Girl Alert * Whiny White Girl Alert
on Opie's show today. And this one's fucking crazy. Stabbing her newborn baby in the chest with a knife, then running off to school the next day. Boo hoo, bitch. Boo HOO.

Dammit, now I'm mad. 'Cause I don't even WATCH Oprah. I was looking for the news....

(0ff to a study group, now....)

Fearless Friday!

No, for real. I swear, I've got a real post coming up...soon. Like, for real for real. It's just that Supa is studying for her mid-term exam and has a mild case of the shits. (nerves) Meanwhile, somebody send me a program that downloads all the info I need to know directly into my brain. While I'm sleeping. After I've had two glasses of wine....

Which reminds me: Be fearless!!!!

Have you really lived ten thousand or more days,
or have you lived one day ten thousand or more times?
~ Wayne Dyer

If it feels safe, its probably not the right path. If it scares you, it probably is.
~Mark Gerzon

I have spent my days stringing and unstringing my instrument
while the song I came to sing remains unsung.
~Rabindranath Tagore

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is
that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness
that frightens us most. But our playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people
won't feel insecure around you.
~Marianne Williamson

Your life mirrors what you put into it or withhold from it...when you are lazy, it is lazy. When you hold back, it holds back. When you hesitate, it stands there staring, hand in its pockets. But when you commit, it comes on like blazes.
~authors of Art and Fear

Monday, October 30, 2006

Supa Doesn't Have to be a Star...

Nina Simone - a true supa sister!

You can come as you are with just your heart
And I'll take you in, though you're rejected and hurt,
To me you're worth, girl, what you have within.
Oh honey, I don't need no superstar cause I'll accept you as you are.
You won't be denied cause I'm satisfied with the love that you can inspire.
You don't have to be a star, baby, to be in my show!
~ Marilyn McCoo & Billy Davis Jr, 1976

What's happening, Blogger Fam? Hope all is wonderful in your worlds!! Meanwhile, go check out our girl Mwabi, African Girl in an American World, flexing her Pulitzer Prize type journalistic skills, when she decided to spotlight ya girl for an interview. Aww, thanks Mwabs! Now you got me all teary eyed and stuff..... Click to read the interview

And Happy Fucking Monday!!!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Wanting Wednesday....

Quotes about wanting

"I want to be as free as the spirits of those who left, I'm talking Malcolm, Coltrane, my man Yusef..." Common, artist

"Faith: not wanting to know what is true." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche, German Philospher

"I forgot my pills, I couldn't have cared less about condoms, all for feverishly wanting to get some! Gloria Trevi, Mexican musician

"I want a project chick..give me a hood-rat bitch.." American Niggas, aka Cash Money Millionaires

"If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days." ~ Sylvia Plath, American poet

"I want the perfect boyfriend and a revolution" ~ talented LA visual artist chick, whose work I saw at a gallery yesterday, whose name I now cannot remember

"I use to want to be rich and I just want to be meaningful in my own little corner of the world." ~ Supa, moody writer chick

What do you want?

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Supa on Flics: The Departed

So Supa, being the movie fanatic she is, took a break from studying to go peep Scorsese's latest flic The Departed - long story short, she enjoyed the shits. Classic Scorsese - Eye-talian mobster crime drama with dark comedic moments and plenty of shoot 'em up and gore; moral ambiguity with the characters across the board: Nicholson was a raving lunatic, Mark Wahlberg was sinister and delightful (with his fine white boy ass), Damon took his kid-from-Southie personna to new levels, and Leo earned my respect by actin' his ass off and basically morphing into a mini-Ray Liotta...

The movie was a tad long (2 1/2 hours) and Supa had BIG BIG problems with the ending (no spoilers) - but it was 7 bucks well spent. (matinee, yo). Supa agrees with the critics, it'll be up for a gang of awards come Oscar time. Go check it.

Supa's Top Three Favorite Scorsese flics:

1. Casino

2. Goodfellas

3. Bringing Out the Dead/Taxi Driver (tie)


Tuesday, October 10, 2006

A Review of 3P! (can u read this?)

Appeared in Rolling Out Urbanstyle Magazine...(click to enlarge. Obviously my scanning skills are quite bootleg...) Enjoy!

Thursday, October 05, 2006


it's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you...
without a dope rhyme to step to!

Blogger Fam: My supa apologies!!! Ya girl just went all ghost on ya, hunh?! Truth is, my offline life has just been so full, it's starting to overshadow my online one, feel me? All good shit though, trust.

Supa's got some things going on, and she's been standing at the crossroads...(this way, or that way??)...Thought about retiring my blog, contemplating the reasons why I created it, wondered if my objectives had been accomplished, yadda yadda...(how many times a week do we bloggers say "I'm bout to stop blogging!") At any rate, Supa's a year deep in the game, and that was her original goal. BUT - I've slowly realized, blogging is a fun creative outlet, helps prime the artistic channels, and besides, I kinda like ya'll fools. So, Supa thinks she'll carry on - for now. (heh heh)

So here's the deal: Supa has jumped from the Corporate Slave Ship (leave of absence from the C.S.S.), in order to go back to school (more on this later! exciting!!), spend more quality time with herself and the RR's, up her writing game, re-connect with friends and love ones, grieve, ponder, slow down, figure out my next move, and just basically bask in this beautiful mess we call LIFE. That's right, boys and girls: ya girl is officially unplugged from the Matrix..chose to swallow that mufuckin' RED pill. Supa 'aint neva been on no punk shit...

Ha. Please! It was some scary shit ya'll...but I did it, and I'm doin' it, and there have been sooo many little divine signs that have let me know I'm on the right path - so I'm grateful. Like one of my favorite quote says:

"There are the risks you can't afford to take..and then, there are the risks you can't afford NOT to take...."

So - I'll fill ya in later, promise!! Just know my posting might be a lil' sporadic. Single Ma - your book is on the way. (thanks to everyone who copped the 3P Remix!!) Cocoa Girl, you gon' get that return call! Sheeit, I'm about 3 weeks behind on emails...on my way to a study group now. What made my ass think going back to school was going to be like going back to 11th grade??

I'm lovin' every unsure challenging scary exhilirating minute of it!!!

'Till then, beautiful ones!

Supa (ova here trippin' all over my!)

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Finally: The 3P Remix!!

Yes yes ya'll: It's finally here!!!(please don't ask about the delays - it's here!)

Passion, Pride, and Politickin': Homegrown Poetry and Essays
by Ms. Jamal Sharif

“With the Gold Pen awarded to her by the Black Writer’s Alliance for this outstanding poetry collection, Ms. Sharif packs the original vision of the hip-hop generation, the urgent calling of previous and current revolutions, our youth’s unfortunate despondency, and a concerned openness for evolution…”
~ Chezon Jackson, Rolling Out Urbanstyle Magazine

“With poetic styles which vary from haiku to street-wise dramatic monologue, using the conventions of “standard” English as well as the defiance of “Ebonics” – and what comes through, no matter what the voice, no matter what the subject; is Ms. Sharif’s clear moral stance: Her verse and prose sing always of the deep, innocent, compelling, human need to do the right thing..and have it be done unto her.” ~Joyce A. Barnes, playwright, author of “Amistad” and “Promise Me the Moon”

“Take time to travel with this intelligent and gracious sister. Passion, Pride and Politickin': Homegrown Poetry and Essays is a must read for poetry lovers and truth seekers alike.”
~ Cheryl Faye, author of “Be Careful What You Wish For

“The book is packed with powerful expressions of life from a personal, as well as from a world perspective…if you want a mindful of energy and inspiring thoughtful prose, Passion, Pride, and Politickin’ is for you.”
~ Zamounde Allie, author of “As The World Burns”

“Ms. Sharif has established herself as heir apparent to the royal line of African-American female writers…love, trust, racism, and urban culture are some of the topics she addresses, with beguiling prose and in-your-face realism….”
~ Memphis Vaughan Jr., author, editor of

2001 National Gold Pen Award Winner
for Best Poetry Collection

So if you want a signed copy, hit me up through paypal! Thanks for all the love and support.


Click here to purchase from Amazon

Click here to purchase from Barnes and Noble

And to all my Bloggin' Fam: ALL of you got shout outs in the new book: TiaStyle, The Blackest Black Man Ever, Cocoa Girl, Butta, Mwabi, Anovelista, Single Ma, JA’s Word Candy, Glam, Tam, Pattyopolis, Sangin’ Diva , Dee, & and all the WCBH’s, Dallas Penn, Obi from South London, The Word Engineer, Knockout Zed, Superstar Nic, Nah Right, Just Another Girl on the IRT, Free, Takeitoutside, So Wise Sista, Crunk & Disorderly, Gobbledygook, Motor City Hot Girl, Diva in Demand, and Model Minority!!!

For all my LA Peeps: The book re-launch soiree will be in November! Stay tuned..

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

News Flash: George Bush is The Devil!

"el diablo"

Hey, this dude said it!!
Not me... (heh heh heh)

But really - is Supa the only one who ponders on the daily, how fucked up this world has become? Rioting in Hungary; a coup in Thailand; mass murder, rape, and pillaging in Africa, unnecessary wars, the Pope inciting a battle-rap against Islam, etc. (I could go on). Nah, I know I'm not alone. Speaking of which - Anyone peep the movie V for Vendetta? That's some real shit - go check it. do ya'll maintain when the weight of the world gets you down? I mean, besides prayer, listening to Pac, alcohol and weed consumption. Those are a given.

Holla atcha girl.

(If I don't respond, I've been detained for paying for my free speech.) Ha!

Supa, out.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Supa Spotlight - Mahogany Braid Boutique!

So, this post is long overdue - but Supa's gotta show some love to her girl, who recently celebrated the grand opening of her salon, Mahogany Braid Boutique in Leimert Park. Trust - she's fabulous, and so was the Grand Opening!


enter the boutique...

Handmade Diva Dolls...

The master stylist herself - Ms. Tonya!

Ya girl

Grand Opening supporters....

A few of the Supa Friends... (shout out to Brave Lurker- we missed ya, girl!)

The brothas, representin'...

Chillin in Leimert, jazz in the park (adjacent to Mahogany Boutique)

From all your crew: Congratulations, Tonya!
(we knew you could do it)

Mahogany Braid Boutique
4321 1/2 Leimert
Los Angeles, CA 90008
by appointment only 323-377-2701
specializing in all natural and braided styles:
locs, twists, extensions, cornrows, & weaving

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

The Waxing Molestation Story

Blogger Fam: Hope all is well in your worlds! Supa had to go underground, or as P says, incognegro fo' a minute...had some matters of the heart to attend to. You know, I must say that it's a definite challenge for people who ALSO suffered the lost of a loved one on September 11th, especially when their death was in no way associated with the terrorist attack. I could go on a George Bush rant, and a whole lotta other tangents...BUT - that's all I'm gonna say about that.

So..on to The Waxing Story!!!

Okay. Supa's going to try to be as delicate as she can with this story, because of its, ummm, intimate nature...but some shit just can't be avoided. You've been warned.

So, ever since Puerto Rico, Supa hasn't had any exciting trips on the horizon, and therefore had gotten a tad lazy in the waxing arena. (for ya'll nosy asses - Yes, Something Special is still something special...) Anyway. Generally, Supa takes pride in keeping her goods pretty immaculate. Staying "Brazilianed up" might be a Cali girl thang, I dunno. Just suffice it to say, that before she knew it, Supa looked down and witnessed her um...*cough*cough*, prize area leaning towards, ummm.... unkempt. (lawd this is gonna be difficult...)

So okay. Supa makes a call to the spa, hoping to lock down a same-day appointment with her regular waxing technician - a cool ass Persian chick with painless waxing skills, who tries to teach me how to curse in Farsi while we chat about life and motherhood and the latest new fly handbags on Melrose. I mean - it takes a LOT to get to the point where you can be that comfortable and have chit-chatty conversation while you're spread eagle and your stuff is totally exposed. Feel me? But me and her are cool like dat. Yet - my cool ass Persian esthetician was also unavailable that day.

Supa had to make a decision. Wait another week and watch the garden grow, or take an appointment with an unknown. Supa opted for the latter. Big big fucking mistake. (Keep reading.)

Get to the spa. Greeted by unknown waxing technician whose name Supa has now erased from her conscious memory. Go into room, disrobe, hope like hell unknown waxing technician has good technique and won't leave Supa in tears. Waxing technician comes in, introduces herself. She's mid-thirties, Latina, non-descript. Or she may have been, but I told you, I've tried very hard to unremember.

So *sigh*, she gets started. IMMEDIATELY she goes: Your skin has such a lovely, deep brown tone. Fascinating....

Supa: (wtf?) Uhhh, thank you. Just got back from the Carribean, guess I worked on my tan, ha ha.....

Unknown waxing technician: Okay, so let's get started....(she starts.) Then: My, you have such an interesting hair growth's almost like a unique design...

Supa: (says nothing - thinking this bitch is just talking to herself out loud..)

Unknown waxing technician: (after a few minutes into the procedure) My god, you are the best waxing client I've had...

Supa asks, slightly uncomforable now: Today?

Unknown waxing technician: No, ever...just...fantastic..

Okay - now my ass is gettin' a nervous. I'm looking around for cameras, wondering if they record this type of shit...My internal monologue was going am I trippin', naw I'm not trippin', she's trippin', naw girl you must be trippin', is this bitch trying to mack me down by complementing my area?? naw that's outrageous, Supa, you trippin'....

NOW KEEP IN MIND READERS: Supa is totally butt-ass nekkid and spread eagle while some female she don't know seems to be making advances at her crotch. Can you say: Twilight Zone?

So, Supa just had to ask: So, umm, why do you say I'm the best wax you've done - EVER??

Unknown waxing technician: Well, I've just never had a client as relaxed as you...your skin is amazing, I've always admired women with darker skin tones, and like I said, your hair pattern is sooooo unique, and in this profession you see a lot of anatomical variations, but I must say you're such a pleasure on many levels...visually and otherwise...

AND BEFORE SUPA COULD EVEN DIGEST WHAT WAS BEING SAID AND SPIT OUT A REPLY, the unknown waxing technician who I now believe is/was masquerading as a
DOWNLOW LESBIAN ESTHETICIAN goes: OOh, let me get this one little spot right here, and proceeds to (oh gawd) place her face THISCLOSE to my goods, and then places her fingers around my area as if she was reading some fucking braille around my STUFF. (There, I said it.) Now, I've gotten waxed LONG ENOUGH to know that THAT SHIT is professionally UNECESSARY...


Then - her finger just kinda sorta slipped
. Just - use your fucking imaginations, boys and girls. (i want ya'll to know, I'm throwing up in my mouth as I type)

Supa jumped up and goes: WHOA! You're getting a LITTLE CLOSE, THERE.....

Downlow Lesbian Esthetician: Oh! I'm sorry...

Supa: Uhh, you regular technician isn't this....INTENSE.

D.L.E.: Well we all have different techniques....It's okay, honey. Sit back, I'm almost done.. (taps my thigh)

Okay, so ya'll have known me long enough to realize that vanity will prompt Supa to do shit like keep on steppin' in some fly ass stilettos when her feet are on fire, and now, apparently proceeding with a Brazilian wax during which she was subtly molested by a lesbian who apparently gets a kick out observing and waxing Nubian assets.

The lezzie finished up, and didn't try any other moves. I was giving off the "try one mo' thing, bitch" vibe so hard, all conversation ceased. That room was so quiet I could hear people laughing down the hall. The D.L.E. said thank you without any eye contact. Supa left the spa without tipping the bitch. The way I see it, that trick owed me a dinner and a movie. Supa sat in her car, dumbfounded, and wondered if she should call the police or one of the Supa friends to confer.

I was just...confused... (what the fuck just happened?)

And each and everytime I've relayed this story since that fated day, my girls have laughed themselves into hyperventilation levels, while I've been on the other end of the phone feelin' undecided on whether or not I should be traumatized!

Unfortunatelty, this story is the the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but.

Go ahead, bitches. Laugh. 'Till it happens to you.............

Thursday, September 07, 2006

The Chicken Story: Status Report...

Okay, so good. Ya'll seemed to be as mortified as Supa was, although it coulda been worse. (Mwabi, Single Ma, Sangin' Diva, Cousin - all ya'll laughing at me just hush it up!) Fellow supa sis 1969 said she walked out her pad one morning and spotted a turkey perched up top of her neighbors car...If I'da seen THAT shit, I'da left my house and rented a hotel room for the weekend - 'cause turkey's are some big, evil, strange-lookin' mofo's, and they don't play.

Update #1: The chicken is no longer on Supa's premises. Disappeared. Vacated. Idunno where it went. It was still there yesterday....Maybe Supa's pad was just a resting point along the escaped chicken Underground Railroad. Supa wishes you safe travels, chicken! Follow the north star to freedoms!

Update #2: The Suspect neighbor and I exited our houses at the same time yesterday. Now, she knows goddamn well she's missing a chicken, but you also know she 'aint going door to door inquiring about it. So she just kinda looked at me and smiled like, "heifer I know you know I got a chicken on the loose," and I waved and smiled like "correct bitch it's in my backyard and I done reported yo ass to Health Services..." Have a nice day!

Update #3. For those who inquired - the Suspect Neighbor is "technically" black, but she's culturally Cuban. Or Belizean. Or Haitian. Something. Whatever. And yes, I realize what she practices is also known as HooDoo, Voodoo, Vudun, etc. Yes, I thought about if she's gon' try to put a hex or some roots on me. Not worried. Supa got powers of her own, plus I got some heavy duty sage to combat the sitch-ee-a-tion. Been burning that shit inside and out like nobody's business.. (Where's Tam's ass when you need her?)

So, what shall I divulge next???


Thought he was your daddy for 35 years then find out he 'aint story?
(this ones deep)

JC Penny's fallout with the Girl story?

or the Bikini waxed by a down-low lesbian story?

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

The Chicken Story

(sigh) Confession: When Supa started this blog almost one long short year ago, she had visions of creating a platform on which she could write and rant about the literary world, current events, socio-political commentary, connect with other writers and readers, bask in the human (online) experience, etc.

Stuff like that. Lofty shit.

Supa did not forsee that she would instead be chronichling her stranger-than-fiction life, which most recently and quite disturbingly includes, but is not limited to, training bras and escaped chickens. Please readers, know my intentions were pure. Someday soon maybe I'll get back on track.

So. On to the chicken.

My next door neighbor is suspect. Knew it the moment she moved in, put couldn't quite put my finger on it. But yeah. Now it's been revealed that she's some kind of "priestess," which most of us already gathered from all the chanting and singing she and her "followers" do in the backyard under the cloak of darkness, and Supa doesn't have any problems with her cultural/religious beliefs. Not at all.

What Supa DOES have a problem with, is when said cultural/religious beliefs manifest themselves as an escaped chicken which has currently barracaded itself in Supa's backyard.
Clucking and making noises and shit.

Exhibit A: The loose chicken.

(don't look at the dry ass neglected grass, it's about to be re-sodded. Look at the chicken.)

The chicken is traumatized, ya'll. For real. Guess when it looked around and saw what happened to its chicken brethren. (uhh..they got SACRIFICED), the chicken was like, "These n*ggas is crazy!" and commenced to bounce.

Right into Supa's backyard - made its debut with company present no less.. Here we are chillin', sippin', and enjoyin' a little fun in the sun, and somebody goes Uhhhh, there's a chicken in your yard.. Supa was like - What the fuh...?

And sho' nuff. A chicken. A fuckin' ALIVE chicken. Last time I checked, livestock wasn't allowed in the city limits - at least in residential areas. So who am I now, the fuckin' chicken amnesty of the hood? Bitch, you betta run before these fools turn you into a 2 piece snack. Have you fried and posted up next to a biscuit....

So. Filed a complaint with the Department of Health Services. Did I forget to mention that my neighbor's trash smells like rotting corpses? Shit is FOUL. Everyone on the street has been wondering where the stench was coming from. And this is truly disturbing - my neighbor on the other side of the Suspect Neighbor, said he saw a live GOAT in the yard otha day. Ex-cuse me?

Where's the goat at now, I scream!

He gave me a look like: What the fuck you think?

Awww snap. They done kilt the goat. Lawd lawd lawd.

So. I'ma let the chicken lay in the cut, and not return it to it's captors...nobody can coax the damn thing out from behind the garage anyway. Poor chicken. Maybe it'll try to make some more progress, away from the House of Horrors, once it gets over its post traumatic stress. I can't call it. If it does escape - where the chicken gon' go? Shit is kinda gully down on Crenshaw Blvd. Them hustlas might snatch that chicken up and bootleg sell it. (Yo man, I got a chicken you know you need a chicken....five dollars, son...)

Any which way, it 'aint lookin' good...