How come..every time I'm in the kitchen, you in the kitchen in the goddamn refrigerator
eatin' up all the food??
Happy Friday, Blogger Fam! Last night, Supa uttered the above referenced and now infamous "Friday" quote when she sat down all ready to grub, and realized her six pack of Cherry Vanilla Hansen's Natural Soda was straight vamanos...gone..no longer in fucking existence. Talk about hurt. A sistas face was cracked. RR#1 made the mistake of coming into the kitchen while Supa was staring woefully into the refrigerator.
Supa/Ms. Mom: Number one - you know you wrong, don't you.
RR# 1: Wha? What happen-
Supa: Number two, I just went to the goddamn store yesterday, and it look like I 'aint been in a month! Child Services would arrest my ass if they came in here to check if I was feedin' ya! Negro, what??! Wassup? You got a tapeworm or something? You on the pipe? Where the hell are my Hansen's sodas????
RR#1: Oh those. I got thirsty.....
Supa: Well if you "thirsty," go drink some goddamn agua, or some Cranberry juice or one of them Capri Sun joints. Comprende, essay? An entire six-pack, boy is you out your goddamn mind? What you think this is, hunh? This 'aint the all-you-can-eat spread at Hometown Buffet. And you know the Hansen's fall under my designated food and drink. Shit! I swear, every time I'm in the kitchen, YOU in the kitchen, eatin' up all the food..
RR#1 - all the chitlins, all the pigs feet.. all the hog maws.... (finishing quote. laughing)
Supa: Oh. You got jokes....
RR#1: Mom. You know that was funny.
Supa: You see me laughing? Now go 'round the corner and get me a peach Snapple. And while you out, get a job!!
(I SWEAR - my grocery bill is running about $400 and change a month, trying to feed me and them hongry ass kids.)
(I SWEAR - my grocery bill is running about $400 and change a month, trying to feed me and them hongry ass kids.)
Next, (and I'm still laughing over this) - yesterday eve, when the brotha from the "clean-up crew" at the office came into my cubicle to dust (how stupid they make them do that shit, hunh), I swear he was hummin' CELIE'S SONG from the Color Purple. 
The one Shug was hummin' in the baff, then later on dedicated it to Celie at the juke joint? (Sista, you been on my mind....)
The one Shug was hummin' in the baff, then later on dedicated it to Celie at the juke joint? (Sista, you been on my mind....)I SWEAR. I listened long enough, just to make sure. (Are you getting a visual?! A burly ass brotha in custodial threads with a feather duster hummin' some Color Purple shyt?)
Cracked. me. the fuck. UP!
Like Nina say, I'm feelin' good. Happy Fucking Friday!!!!
20 comments:
Fiiiirrrrrrst!!
and HAHAHAHAHA!
brb
OMG!!
This is some going down in history legacy in the making posting kind of sheeat! This is funny.azz.hell.
How whack is that when you have a taste for something, get all prepped for it and it is gone.
Nowhere.to.be.fount?
Classic writing, gurl!
PS: And Cherry Vanilla Hansens drink to boot?!? That's some banishment to the room type of stuff.
PS: How thirsty did RR#1 Get? And did you know that it was him in particular.
PSII: Aren't all the scenes in Friday, classic though? But that one in particular is in the top three!
Don't even get me started...that's the kinda shit Steplittle does. One day I came home, the boy had eaten 4 eggs and my ENTIRE LUNCH for the next day. The boy poilshied off the rest of the soup, chow mein and rice I had made - AND 4 DAMN EGGS!! I'm like OK...what the hell am I supposed to eat for lunch tomorrow??? YOU got some LUNCH MONEY for me?? GGGGgggggrrrrrrrrr...that burns me up!!!
See u tomorrow!
@ P: It was him.
And just for the record, a sista shouldn't have to HIDE the groceries SHE WORKS FOR AND BUYS in the closet just to keep the greedy muhfuckas she gave birth to from consuming them. I'm still MAD. The timing was hella bad...
@ Phoenix: Ewww...eggs??? lol
But you're FEELIN MY PAIN!!!
see ya'll tricks tomorrow :)
Damn these people at my firm! Thinkin' I'm here to work!! WTF!? Tha nerve of them holding me up on my blog readin'.
Anyway (hehehe), back to what I was going to say before I was so rudely interrupted. lol Got a simple solution for ya...well, it worked for me with both GROWN folks AND children. I made an example out of one of 'em and unleashed a storm so wicked on that ass it won't be forgotten for generations.
What you do is go straight up BALLISTIC when somebody makes the mistake of touching yo' shit. Check 'em THOROUGHLY if they so much as LOOK AT YO SHIT TOO HARD! Don't let nobody slide either. EVER.
Yeah, I know it's wicked, but it works. I got people scared to even THINK ABOUT asking me for a drink of my Tropicana Pure Premium Grovestand orange juice when they come over my house.
@ Storm: I hear ya. Though I try to refrain from completely gang-bangin' on the boy, 'cause when I break him down real hard he gets all traumatized. He's a real low key type of cat. The subtle/mind-fuck approach is more effective with that dude.
But since he majorly transgressed, I'ma be real cool... just gon' fuck with his head & his salivatory glands. Aint gon be NUTHIN to drink at the pad for like 2 weeks. Just strike on his ass. See how he likes that. He'll be trynta swallow & recycle his spit while I'm somewhere grinning.
Fucking with my Hansen's is like fucking with my emotions....
Oh. Tropicana is the bomb. No pulp, Calcium fortified? That's my shit, yo!!
Why we gotta be tricks? damn...
Hehehe...takes one to know one, huh? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Trickin hard since 1987. What.
You goin' get me put out of the library--I laughed out loud after reading this blog--I'm still laughing and hearing that song--you a trip Supa!
@Z: Okay? That shit was kinda bizarre...
J - you had me rolling with this whole post and especially "He'll be trynta swallow & recycle his spit while I'm somewhere grinning."
You's a mess! But girl I FEEL you. Especially when you go out of your way to buy seperate shit for them and you.
That was funny him tryna make you laugh.
I didn't talk to the husband for a whole day when he used my roasted red pepper and onion RAGU for his spaghetti. He couldn't use all the other ragus up in the house - it had to be the red pepper kind that I buy 4 bottles at a time cause they're out all the time. My eggplant parmesean can only be made with roasted red pepper and onion ragu.
tolt ya I felt ya!!!!!
oh yeah and the humming was such a visual...that is poem/essay worthy!
sistaaaaaaaaaaaa!! you one of a kind!!! i'm so glad i have that on dvd. i need to watch that scene tomorrow.
oh yeah and HILAAAAAAAAAARIOUS!! why you don't visit no mo? you don't call, you don't write. what's the deal?!!!!!!!!
supa sista, you're blog is the truth. fresh, funny, real! keep 'em coming baby....
LMAO @ the Quote from Friday!
Happy Mother's Day 2 Ya Supa Sis!!!
Supa...Happy Mother's Day to you.
I am still laughing because I have two children as well. You call yours the RR, well we call ours the Taliban. Osama and Saddam. LOL
I had to go back and read your list of things that upsets the household....you are pure comedy.
He was DUSTING the cubicle? That just ain't right. Where is the dignity? Poor man. He was probably humming Shug's song cause he felt like a damn slave....
BklynAKA
What's fucked up is you can't control what friggin' song gets in your head. There's no way that cat WANTED to be hummin' that!
KZ
LOL @ Bklyn AKA!!! The Taliban. I like that!! lol. Happy Mommas Day to you.
Zeddie: Maaan....just shameful.
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