Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Back, Bitches!!

25 Epiphanomenalities and General Random Things Supa Learned While being Grown-and-Sexy and Away on Mini-Vacation:

1. Sunshine, travel, good food, great art, genuine people, rampant laughter, and new experiences truly make life bearable.

2. Lots and lots of alcohol does too.

3. Overpacking your designer suitcase with every conceivable outfit formulation based on mood fluctuations, inclement/ideal weather possibilities, venue changes, and options for morning/afternoon/evening/late night gear is a fashionista necessity and therefore worth paying the funky $25 dollar overweight luggage fee. (Haters)

Addendum: Airport people watching is the best. Really. Loads of unbelievable cell phone conversations and prime writing material in effect.

4. Southwest is the official bootleg version of all airlines. From the drama that unassigned in-flight seating inevitably brings, to the flight attendants who wear stained khaki shorts and appear as if they also moonlight for Denny's, to the passengers who looked like they were actively jumping bail. Just janky.

Addendum: Any child over 5 years of age & flying on an airplane, who obnoxiously yells at their parents and won't listen or sit the fuck down or stop playing with the back of my chair should have a special window their asses can be thrown out of.

5. Sometimes, a pear is not a peach. (Thanks, Manesh..)

6. Somewhat related, Supa vows to learn how to make an unparalleled mango mojito within the next 30 days.

7. Hands down, Sex y Lucia is still one of the most visually and psychologically moving, magical, poignant, innovative, subjective, and creative foreign flics Supa has seen.


8. Supa gets strangely aroused by any man who can correctly pronounce and effectively use the word "chrysalis" in a sentence.

9. Yay area chronic will have your ass straight useless. Unless you have about six hours to fuck off and do absolutely nothing, Supa doesn't recommend partaking.

10. Motorcycles are dangerous. (Feel better, T-Boom!)

11. When visiting another city, it is both comical and delightful to observe the resident white folk in action. 'Cause Supa gets hella bored looking at the same dry-ass crackafied corporate and/or industry types she sees on the daily. Give her a cluster of fresh outta rehab lookin’ white boys with fifty piercings in their face, ears, nose, and lips; rocking some dreadlocs while pedaling scooters or busted-out bicycles a la ‘70’s, it’s enough to make her grin.

12. The more I travel stateside and beyond, the more I (sadly) realize how economically and racially segregated the city of Los Angeles really is.

13. DJ's are supa sexy. (something about the combination of music, creativity, and skilled and competent hands...)


(Supa caressing the equipment...now that's hot.)



14. Homeless white dudes in San Fransisco give shitty driving directions.

15. Supa really digs the vibe of fly-ass cafes.

16. No matter what, it’s always good to reconnect with some extended fam bam.

(Supa pozin' with her 22 yr-old stepdaughter. Sounds strange, I know, but don't ask, it's all good.)




17. Despite how much she might grumble about life in mommy mode, Supa be missin' her spawn when she's away. (dont tell nobody..) And the whining I did over missing The Pooch was borderline pathetic…

18. A Supa Ephiphanomenality: Life is both beautiful and painful, fabulous and fucked up, effortless and challenging, very often at the same time, which tends to make even the most fleeting moments of total being and euphoria and laughter feel like the longest and most beautifully tangible moments in ones life. “Be happy for this moment, for this moment is your life”

19. Another epiphanomenality: While in a popular and overcrowded reggae club during a holiday weekend filled to the hinges with crunk and disorderly patrons who are hella liquored up, high, hyphy-fied and thizzled out - countless pathiggas will seize that as the unpassable opportunity to grind, grope, feel on, and basically molest your ass on the dance floor and leave you with a perfect understanding of how and why a woman can be inspired to cut a muthafuckas dick off then attempt to brutally fuck him with it. I'm just saying.

20. It took a long ass time to realize that Supa really (for real really) fiends over the Drum and Bass musical genre. Watch ya back, hip-hop.

21. Did I also mention that chronic will have you perplexed over the most elementary of tasks? Like how to successfully install a new roll of toilet paper, or how to remove your left contact lens. And chronic also makes u hella forgetful too. Did I already say that?

22. Last ephiphanomenality: It never ever fails that if/when you start feeling the next brotha, every ex, past lover, stalker, and secret male and lesbian crush from your past will come out of the fucking woodwork and try to kick extra pimp game on how they've (a) had their own epiphanomenality & are now suddenly positive they cannot go on without you, and/or (b) wax poetic on why ya'll should get (or get back) together, and/or (c) proclaim how they really wanna hold it down with you/for you in all areas (yadda yadda), and just talk that general yang which basically translates into (d), seeing if they can still hit it.

23. Supa really digs San Fran. (always has) It's like the East coast of the West coast. Berkeley is mad chill, too. Very un-Hollywood. Very refreshing.





24. Win or lose, Raja Bell betta get his tall fine St. Croix-ian ass back out there on that court. Supa don't watch basketball just to stare at the likes of Chauncey Billups, feel me?

(Yo, call me Raja...)







25.
Memorial Day Weekend Breakdown:

~Air fare for mini-vacay on janky-ass SouthWest airlines: $ 200

~Hateration overweight bag fee: $25

~Cost of a round of drinks on account of losing a stupid bet: $10

~Gaining a funky new addition to my already endless Tshirt collection: $0


Big, BIG ups to the Konte's at Guerilla Cafe for my complimentary Guerilla Tee!


~Rallying up the supa powers to save a brotha from going beyond the brink: Priceless!

38 comments:

Nichelle said...

Whoa! A round of drinks for $10? Damn, where did you go?

And BOOOOO at the unassigned seating on Southwest! I guess I'll never fly with them because when I'm on an airplane I'm like, "Gimme my seat!" No way I'm arguing with some fool over my seat!

Supa said...

@ Nichelle: Girl. That shit was ridiculous. I was lookin' at my ticket like "where the fuck is my seat assignment...oh damn...."

So yeah. It got kinda hectic. But I got the seat I wanted. :)

The Phoenix aka ThatGirlTam said...

Hmmmmm...sounds suspect to me...

Supa said...

@ Phoenix: Who? Where? What I do?

P said...

I don't know where to start, but since today, I'm on one, I'll talk about it all.

Bomb.Ass.Post.

#4: Re: Southwest - They need to change their slogan to: "Ding. . .You are now free move about the Soul Plane" My past experience with them is nothing short of what you mentioned. Always a treat with the seating, as well as the occassional overbooked, we'll give you a 100.00 voucher if you get off now and sweat bullets until the next flight days. PS: Southwest has flight attendants? (hehe).

#13: DJ's are sexy. Their voice, coupled with their moments have accidentally on purpose allowed me to give out my phone number a time or two (or three or four). Then I was over it.

#17: Were you so happy to see the Ruff Ryders that you let them partake in a celebration complete with Hansen's natural sodee?

22: Girl Crushes? Do tell. That sounds exciting. Yes, I know, nasty, but you know how I do.

Glad you got away; but glad you're back (in rare form, nonetheless).

P said...

@ As for you getting the seat you wanted, I don't know, maybe it's me.

But that sounded like you were talking about something that happened after you got off the plane, no?

Supa said...

@ P: Wassup ma!! You are SO funny.

re: Southwest - sheeit, I'd rather get on SOUL PLANE than endure that janky ass Southwest mess!! It was all pathigga!

#13 - So you feelin' me. And you "accidently on purpose" gave out your digits, hunh? Please. U was hopin' he'd do a live mix and scratch on that AZZ!

#17 - Yes, I gave the RR's their Hansen's allowances before I left. :)

#22 - Girl. The "girl crush": kind of a long story. Quick version: An ex actually called ME to inform that HIS female friend (whom we all had hung with in the past - I knew she was into chicks) has been "thinking hard about me" & wanting to know when I was coming back around...old girl already KNOWS I'm strictly dickly, so wtf brought all THIS on, your guess?

Summer madness, all these vibes in the air...

Whatever, yo!

Glad you're glad I'm back. :)

Supa said...

@ P: Southwest airline lets you on according to your "category" - and you board according to whether you're an A, B, or C.

If you're a "C" - your shit outta luck - only seats left are in between grossly overweight people and those with screaming ass kids.

Luckily I was able to parlay up on a window seat going both ways. You know. Smile at some random person and say "do you mind if I sit there? I get anxiety if I'm not near the window.." Or some other bullshit like that. Usually works...(it's true, though, I hate flying)

But some folks almost came to blows over the overhead storage bins. I thought they were gonna cancel the flight!!! JANKY!!

P said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
P said...

@ The Sup

I love the overhead bin saga when you are flying with Southwest. The world's Greatest!!

I can't ride Southwest anymore, because my legs are kind of long, and if I don't get an Aisle seat (or Fly American or First Class (hehe),), then I'm Shitoutofluck and stuck with some type of gangrene poor circulation type of thing, if it turns out to be a long flight.

Miss Ahmad said...

I usually would rather drive than give southwest my money!

Ain't nothing but a big bus in the sky, and don't even have to board out of LAX, going thru all of that just take an hour flight?

Glad you had fun in the home of Popped Collars and the Original Side Show!

dpm said...

hey...

that looks like a "djkd" mixer... who let you touch that?

African girl, American world said...

LOL @ P and her line of questioning

girl I got back from my vacay 2 minutes ago and I'm dead tired so I'll comment for reals in the AM :)

"N" Search of Ecstasy said...

Now that what I'm talking about! Supa you did the damn thang. I love #1 and #2. The priceless message was priceless, LOL.

Glad you had a great time and that you are home safe and sound!

Supa said...

@ P: Yeah, sis. All them legs you got, you really need to fly first class!

@ Glam: lol @ the big bus in the sky! Very on point description. And thanks, I had a great time roaming in your hood. :)


@ DPM: Uhhh..nobody? *small voice*

@ Mwabs: Tired?! You and Cocoa hit those New Yawk streets?? Details!

@ Nic: Thanks, Superstar!

d said...

sharp as a harp from SOUP to nuts, I LOL when you told Raja to call you.

What in the world is better than changing your surroundings to remind you why you love where it is you do your thing?

Glad that your back since you have a gang of work to do on your new book project. There are thirty more days before the end of the year's second quarter. Chop, chop.

onecoolhoney said...

Tight!

Hummingbyrd said...

...why a woman can be inspired to cut a muthafuckas dick off then attempt to brutally fuck him with it. I'm just saying.
_____________________
Gurrrl. Why you think we got so many murders. Nigg*s get hyphy and be extra then they have to get put in they place or simply laid to rest. real talk.

Cocoa Girl said...

Love that post, Supa!

Now, WHO were you going to visit???

I'm jus sayin...

LOL!

Cocoa Girl said...

BTW, what kind of Supa Powers y ou got...

ahem...

LOL!

BTW2, Raja could inspire me to tune into the NBA again!

Supa said...

@ D: I know, I know. Back from vacay, so get crackin'. Stay on my ass, yo!

@ Storm: Right?!?!

@ MM: Word. And fuck poppin' off at the mouff, you gots to ADW (assault w/deadly weapon) these mofo's to make 'em respect you.

@ Cocoa: Who was I going to visit?? Since you're one of them edumacated negroes, I'll give you three guesses. lol!! :)

AND - Raja's fucking fine. (And I don't even dig "light brites")

Nuff said.

nikki said...

what da fug? a round of drinks came that cheap? i need to be THERE.

A Supa Ephiphanomenality: Life is both beautiful and painful, fabulous and fucked up, effortless and challenging, very often at the same time, which tends to make even the most fleeting moments of total being and euphoria and laughter feel like the longest and most beautifully tangible moments in ones life. “Be happy for this moment, for this moment is your life”


this is beautiful right here. i love it!

lmao@new set of white folk to laugh at. no DOUBT.

and i HATE obnoxious kids on a plane. how come it's always a white person's child? i have NEVER (and i ain't tryin to make this a race issue, but damn) NEVER seen a black kid cut the fool in a plane.

So...Wise...Sista said...

"~Cost of a round of drinks on account of losing a stupid bet: $10"

Sheeeit...I'll fly Southwest on connecting flights to THIS spot. lol

Miz JJ said...

I sat on five hour flight with an obnoxious little kid kicking my seat. His mother told me that he was just nervous flying. I informed her that she needed to control her son if she wanted him to exit the plane with all of his limbs. The window would have probably been more efficient.

I gotta go check out Sex Y Lucia. I have been looking forward to it for awhile.

Cocoa Girl said...

Hehehe...

dutty gyal

Diva said...

Y'all obviously have some janky azz Southest experiences. But down here in the actual southwest.....it's that fiyah! Southwest has the bigger seats, the cheaper prices, drink coupons, and flight attendants that sing songs and isht. LOL

I'm telling you, Southwest is the way to go here. But now I know to never fly them going to Cali. LOL

Supa said...

OK Beautiful peeps: The cost of drinks was almost nathan, now that ya'll mention. But it was only b/c me & my companion got kinda chummy with the bartender the night before.

So upon our return, guess we got love! Or maybe we was just fly like that...lol

(it was only two drinks, and I didn't question it..) But that meant $5 a glass, hunh. Not bad...:

BTW - any of ya'll ever heard of PEAR Brandy?....

Single Ma said...

Dayum, can't nobody do it like Supa! I love your MC breakdown (#25). Too funny! Not a bad price to pay for the realization in #18. Do ya thang sis!

Drum and base musiq is the shyt but hip hop will always be my first love. LOL

Not a damn clue @ your BTW. What is PEAR Brandy?

dpm said...

Pear Brandy is NOT Peach Brandy.

Danyel said...

No. 22 was best.

And Raja is fine. But he gets on my nerves.

bunny said...

Nope never heard of pear brandy but I had some Apricot Brandy that sho nuff was kickin my azz!
Straight from the vineyard too!

Glad your vacay was cool and I guess I didn't expect anything less from you Supa.

Supa said...

@ Diva: OK, so Southwest is only janky in Cali. Thx for that info.

@ Ms JJ: Unruly kids on a plane are the WORST. And please watch Sex y Lucia!!

@ Single Ma: HEY MS. FABULOUS! *waving* Glad to see you back on the scene!

@ DPM: Why you keep rubbin it in?

@ Danyel: Welcome! And Raja could get on my nerves if he want to, I got no issue... lol

@ Bunny: Apricot?? Now THAT sounds interesting! I'ma put that on the list...

Delaleuverses said...

This was divalicious, I enjoyed reading

Knockout Zed said...

I really coulda used more pics of you being you and shit.

*putsvaselineaway*

KZ

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

I love your 'A Supa Ephiphanomenality'.

I need some of that Yay area chronic!

Free said...

You really killed me with #s 4 and 11. Made me have to pee I laughed so hard! And for #5, even if you have to send a private mail, I GOTTA have this explained. You know my simple mind can't take confusion - it's why I follow strangers on the roads til I figure out the vanity plates!

Now, let's talk about #17... You and that dawg. Girl, gone on and take the little brat next time. Might be able to scare off them bad ass kids on the plane :-)

Supa said...

@ Free: You silly! OK, I'll hit u up on private. :)

@ Southern Gal & Dela: Thanks. :)

@ Zeddie: Stop it.

Sangindiva said...

DAMN! your vacay sounded so great!!
And you was in my hometown so I know it was crackin'!
I have so much I want to comment on but we can discuss that later.
ALL I'm tryin' to say is holla at yo girl on numero nueve!