Well THAT shit was torture! Good LORD. Supa just 'aint that chick who can stay confined for hours and hours at a time....without definite consequences. It's like, I really need to beat somebody's ass now. Feelin' all pent up. And guess what? The second half of the training is tomorrow. (The fuck?) Something my boss (currently, kicking it on the Caspian Sea in Iran..or Persia. or wherever..) failed to mention.
'Aint that about a bitch? I'm. not. happy. ..
At any rate, here's the quick funny bullshit. At the beginning of training, the instructors wanted us to do that introduce yourself to everybody bullshit, explain your duties within the organization, your experience, blappity bullshit blah. We do. And shit took forever 'cause you know how muthafuckas like to TALK. Lord. It's then I notice that I'm the only sista holdin' it down in there, so I stick with the professional black girl mode and ditch the plan of reading my book & basically acting like the sullen uninterested student in the back of the class. *sigh*
So. At the end of morning break, as I'ze walking back into class with my peppermint tea, this dude from another department (let's call him....Valley Boy) goes: (oh yeah- he's white)
Valley Boy: "Hey! Supa! You just gotta tell me: How do you handle the pressure?"
Supa: (thinking he's referring to the bullshit I spouted earlier regarding my job duties) "OH, it's not so bad. I've got a great team.."
Valley Boy: "Nooooo.... I mean, how do you handle the pressure knowing when you walk back in that room, you'll be the most beautiful woman there. That's gotta be realll haaard...."
(Now, please tell me. Aint that about the cheesiest fucking shit you ever heard in your whole goddamn LIFE?!?!)
Supa: (staring at this muhfucka like he just sprouted sixteen heads.) "That was real cheesy, Valley Boy. Real cheesy."
Valley Boy: "Yeah I know. It was the best I could come up with.., heh heh heh..."
Supa: (not amused. this fool 'aint even worth a polite diss) "Excuse me, class is starting..."
Now granted, me and Valley Boy 'aint strangers: his department and mine come into contact quite often, which also means he's lurked around Supa and her debaucherous co-workers during the social and holiday functions given within our Bureau. And before you ask Cocoa, yes he was there the night I got supa tossed at the fated holiday luncheon. Yeah, I was in a weird space that night, but - so what!? A mutha fucka sees you toss your cookies, and feels like he knows you well enough to bring the cheese, is that it?
The fuck outta here!
Anyway. I made it my business to sit allll the way down and away from his tired corny ass. Sigh. Ya'll pray for a sista tomorrow. Really.
(Dry ass humor brought to you, compliments of Valley Boy aka "Something Cheesy.." )
Gone to yoga!!