Jagged Little Journey...

jagged: ['ja-ged] having a harsh, rough, or irregular quality

journey [jur-nee] : a traveling from one place to another, usually taking a rather long time

It's countdown time. My latest mantra: Stay busy, think positive, remain calm, breathe, focus, don't shut down or start cussin' folks out, everything is gonna be alright. Justice will be served. Repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat.

But shit dude, I can't sleep. Third night this week and I'm up past 2 a.m., hula-hooping on the cold kitchen tile (my latest exercise fad), Ipod headphones and 2pac on blast, doin' dainty Vodka shots wondering how the fuck am I gonna do this. Can't pretend like it 'aint happenin', time's up for alla that. With the media and the D.A. all up on the other end of my line, couldn't ignore it if I tried...

It's been four years a long time it's the day you've waited for all this time four years how do you feel will you be able to contain yourself it'll be the first time to confront your pregnant sister's murderer...

Shit, man. Like, what am I supposed to say...(do all you reporters ask the same dumb ass questions? how do you think I feel, genius? you want me to get all heated & gully so I can get lectured again by those nice Georgia detectives about the sentences and fines for making terrorist threats against the accused?) Nah. I don't even go there lately. All I do say is: I'll be there.

Can't really call the rest.

No one really knows what it does to you. It changes you; but in ways they don't readily see. After all, you do resume some semblance of "normal." Folks see you up and about, hair combed, speaking coherently, occasionally smiling, and they convince themselves you're beyond the worst of it. You'll live. They don't know..not really. Only you know the sleeplessness, the late night conversations with God and ghosts...the hole left in and around your life, that cold breezy place where it seems nothing good sticks. You wonder what your life would have looked like "if", what their life would have been like "if", and you lay deep in the night and see the sun rise before realizing it doesn't even matter. There is no "if". There is only now.

And so, lil' sis' murder trial is set to begin March 5th. Like, for real for real.

So I hula-hoop, listen to music, stay busy, think positive. Remain focused. Try not to cuss nobody out. Do dainty vodka shots, daydream, furiously rework my gratitude list, stay in the moment and write it all down. And pray.

That they keep him far enough away from me in court.

Barack in Los Angeles...

And yep, Supa was there screaming at the rally like it was circa 1987 at an LL Cool J concert.
GO BARACK!

Supa on Flics: Sunshine & Scotland

Little Miss Sunshine

I loved this freakin' movie. Somewhat obsessed with it now, really..Have never loved Steve Carrell more than in this role!


The Last King of Scotland

Didn't love this movie. Love Foresses' acting ass, but the script was
wack on a few levels, and the fictional (white boy) character really
got on Supa's nerves. Hope the homie Ghost Dog wins the Oscar
though. As usual, with his acting chops he basically morphed into Idi Amin. Not that that's a good thing, but..you know. He and Kerri's Washington's Ugandan accents were on point. That's...about it.


Who saw King of Scotland and didn't think it sucked? Do tell!

And The Supa Saga..continues

And so it is, in this big beautiful thing called life: Things come together, things fall apart. Supa is once again at a point in her life where there is both celebration and mourning; where she is very much reaching toward the future and yet stuck in the past, where memories and magic intertwine, dance, collide...

But let's begin at the beginning. Ya'll have most def been there with/for me during the high times and zany moments, like this and this and this and this and this; and ya'll have also seen me through the valleys and more challenging times like this...and this...and this and this. Man, it's been a helluva ride, yes?

Well Blogger Fam, it 'aint over..

So check it. This the part where I tell you what your girl has been up to, during all this sporadic blog posting and shyt. Looong story short - when I took a leave from the Corporate Slave Ship (C.S.S.) last summer, it was because I just needed to grieve, work some shit out within myself and figure out what I really (as in really) wanted to do with the rest of my life. Don't misunderstand,my office gig was hella cool, a sista was the golden child up in that piece, I could get away with being spoiled and a bit lazy. Problem was - I wasn't passionate about the work I was doing. From jump it had always been "a job," which for years and years served it's purpose, helped maintain a comfortable family lifestyle, you know the drill. I always knew I wasn't the forever and ever square gig kind of chick, but yo, those years can sneak up on you before you can plot your escape. I looked up one day and realized I was sleepwalking. Caught up in the Matrix, big time. Loved my co-workers to death, but the work itself was just bland, uninspiring, and unchallenging, and uncreative as fuck.

I'd gotten caught in the routine: Get up, drag self to work, deal with corporate life and assholes, take long unauthorized lunches, come back to my office, shop online and blog, watch the clock, go home, manage kids and home life, be a grouch, go to sleep. This tired cycle probably contributed to why I couldn't ever seem to get my ass up and to work on time. Ha. In a nutshell - paper pushing and a cushy salary were starting to cost me too much. Emotionally, spiritually, creatively. I was doing something I promised myself I'd never do. Go to sleep on my life.

So, I got some devastating, life-altering wake-up jolts during my sleepwalking years: divorce, the death of my mom, the murder of my sis, the sudden death of a dear sisterfriend, on top of the emotional energy distributed during wifedom and motherhood, etc. etc., let's just say I graduated to an epic what-the-hell-am-I-doing-in-my-life type crisis - and that's when I finally said - Fuck It. I gotta unplug. Bout to toss all these balls I've been juggling in my life, let 'em fall, then I'll decide which ones I'm gonna pick back up. I'm about to figure out how to create a life that makes me happy to get up in the morning. And that was the beginning of an unsure, scary, exciting, and very necessary journey..

Oh. My bad. This was supposed to be long story short...

SO, during my time off, I traveled a bit, enjoyed myself and my kids and just being in my own flow, dropped some folks, reconnected with some folks, spent a considerable amount of time writing and journaling, got another tattoo, took up Tai Chi, finally went to school for something I've always wanted to do, enrolled an accelerated program to become a certified massage therapist with a specialization in Sports Therapy... graduated in the top of my class, realized that not only did I enjoy it immensely but I was also GOOD at it...(and an extra perk is that doing bodywork actually helps me with my writing...I'm more grounded..more energy flowing..or something. Who knew?!)

AND...around the same time, a friend of mine hipped me to a cute little space in the Black Greenwich Village aka Leimert Park in Los Angeles, it was the perfect spot (great location, great lease) to create this new vision of mine - I'd always always wanted to open a Tea Lounge (think Starbucks, but a lil' cozier. and with teas from all over the world...) So. (For real now.) Long story short, is that I've opened my own business called The Body Lounge. (yes!) Which has allowed me to "marry" a few of my passions - body products (I'm a product fanatic), herbal and exotic teas (there is a lounge on-site) and bodywork (massage, reflexology, all that good stuff) SO! The last few months have been me finishing school, getting my licenses, renovating my space, all the start-up stuff (furnishings, equipments, marketing, products, teas, etc), and....I opened doors up a few weeks ago. See?

the exotic tea lounge...where u get your lounge on. good vibes, man!

"Jump, and the net will appear"
"There is the risk you cannot afford to take -and there is the risk you can't affort not to take. "

More on this later. Here's some more pics (yahoo photos was trippin, click on The Body Lounge set in Flickr) if you want to take a look. Yay!! And the West Coast Bloggin' Hotties (Glam, Sangin' Diva, That Girl Tam, and Pattyopolis) will be rollin' thru for a lil' reunion real soon! We might give ya'll some pics. Maybe :) But I gotta shout out all my peeps who supported and believed in me from the scary beginning (ya'll sayin' I should start my own business, what is you crazy?!?!) to the wonderful result, and especially much props to anyone who came over and helped me renovate. And paint!! Auntie, Tony, Demitri, Tonya, Shonnie Mack, Kwesi, Terry, Jessie, K. Bilal, Sylvia, Ruff Ryders #1 and #2, there's more...but much love to my fam and peeps who gave me the emotional support & cheerleading as well. Not those ones who said..leaving your job?, ooohh, aren't you scared, do you know what you're doing, I don't know about alla that... But the ones who said hell yeah, plan your work and work your plan, what do you need and how can I help! Ya'll are fucking priceless. (And yo, Dave: I don't do 3,000 mile outcalls, sorry babe. Gotta find you a therapist more local! Try Brooklyn..)

"..damn it feels good to be alive/no matter what we've survived/no matter what, we still survive"

And then...(sigh) Got word last week that my lil' sis' murder trial is starting. Yep. After all the false starts and continuances over the last year and a half - it appears that it's really about to go down. Jury selection begins next week, trial set to start March 5th. Needless to say, it's the day the family has waited for - and I've had so much anxiety, waves of overwhelming sadness, fear, anger, etc. since I got the word. It's a trip. While I was speaking with the Supa-Ex the otha night, he did his best to assure me: we'll get through this...think of those who never get a trial for their loved ones...we knows what he did, he knows what he did..

And all I could think of was: When I step myself in that courtroom..that means..she's really dead. Funny how the mind works. I don't think I ever really believed she was gone - even at her funeral. That's some strange, trippy shit.

So, that's it Blogger Fam!

New business, new path in life, blessings, and a murder trial.

"After chaos, we get clarity..."


It's all a wonderful tragedy. I'm grateful for it all. Guess the lowest lows allow me to feel, and truly appreciate, the highest highs - and all the beautiful simple things in between.

Peace and love, and I hope all is wonderful in your worlds! I told ya I'd let you know what a sistas been up to - and it's all here! Holla atcha girl!

Much love,

Supa.
(striving to stay Spiritual.Unstoppable.Passionate.Authentic.)

HBO Documentary: Bastards of the Party

Raised in the Athens Park neighborhood of Los Angeles, Cle "Bone" Sloan was four years old when his father died, and 12 when he became a member of the Bloods. Now an inactive member of the notorious gang, Sloan looks back at the history of black gangs in his city and makes a powerful call for change in modern gang culture with his insightful documentary, BASTARDS OF THE PARTY.

Acclaimed feature film director Antoine Fuqua ("Training Day") produces along with Sloan, who also directs.

Haunted by his involvement in the Bloods' pervasive culture of violence, Sloan wanted to explore where it all began. In researching the subject, he discovered that the roots of black gangs were nurtured within a distinct political landscape. BASTARDS OF THE PARTY traces the development of black gangs in Los Angeles from the late 1940s, through the charged atmosphere of the '60s and '70s, to the breakdown of community in the '80s and '90s, and the brief truce between the Crips and Bloods that followed the Rodney King riots in 1992. Among the gangs that figure in the story are the Spook- hunters, Farmers, Slauscons, Businessmen and Gladiators. Read entire article here

The documentary features interviews with past and current gang members from the Bloods and Crips; LA historian Mike Davis, whose book "City of Quartz" sparked Sloan's own project; former FBI agent Wes Swearingen; and Geronimo Pratt, the former Black Panther Party minister of defense, among others.

Supa says: Watch this shit, yo!

Ummm...

You know a sista's been busy when it's the fifth of February and she 'aint even done a Black History Post....Supa's bad!! Hope all is well in your world's Blogger fam! (a personal update post coming real soon promise! Meanwhile - what's good with ya'll?!?!)


PHILIPPINES By Runoko Rashidi -Photo courtesy of Alibata.org

“There are black Negroes in this island who pay tribute to no one.” —Early Spanish historian

Although the great majority of the people of the Philippines are Tagalog, the country is not ethnically homogeneous. In spite of their small numbers the original inhabitants of the Philippines are the Agta (diminutive Africoids), who still live there in some numbers and are commonly and pejoratively called Pygmies, Negritos and Aeta, and a variety of other names based upon their specific locale. In regards to phenotype, broadly speaking, the Agta can be described as physically small and unusually short in stature,dark-skinned, spiral-haired and broad-nosed. They are an extremely ancient people and, I believe, close representatives of the world’s earliest modern humans....Continue reading article here