Wednesday, September 06, 2006
The Chicken Story
(sigh) Confession: When Supa started this blog almost one long short year ago, she had visions of creating a platform on which she could write and rant about the literary world, current events, socio-political commentary, connect with other writers and readers, bask in the human (online) experience, etc.
Stuff like that. Lofty shit.
Supa did not forsee that she would instead be chronichling her stranger-than-fiction life, which most recently and quite disturbingly includes, but is not limited to, training bras and escaped chickens. Please readers, know my intentions were pure. Someday soon maybe I'll get back on track.
So. On to the chicken.
My next door neighbor is suspect. Knew it the moment she moved in, put couldn't quite put my finger on it. But yeah. Now it's been revealed that she's some kind of "priestess," which most of us already gathered from all the chanting and singing she and her "followers" do in the backyard under the cloak of darkness, and Supa doesn't have any problems with her cultural/religious beliefs. Not at all.
What Supa DOES have a problem with, is when said cultural/religious beliefs manifest themselves as an escaped chicken which has currently barracaded itself in Supa's backyard.
Clucking and making noises and shit.
Exhibit A: The loose chicken.
(don't look at the dry ass neglected grass, it's about to be re-sodded. Look at the chicken.)
The chicken is traumatized, ya'll. For real. Guess when it looked around and saw what happened to its chicken brethren. (uhh..they got SACRIFICED), the chicken was like, "These n*ggas is crazy!" and commenced to bounce.
Right into Supa's backyard - made its debut with company present no less.. Here we are chillin', sippin', and enjoyin' a little fun in the sun, and somebody goes Uhhhh, there's a chicken in your yard.. Supa was like - What the fuh...?
And sho' nuff. A chicken. A fuckin' ALIVE chicken. Last time I checked, livestock wasn't allowed in the city limits - at least in residential areas. So who am I now, the fuckin' chicken amnesty of the hood? Bitch, you betta run before these fools turn you into a 2 piece snack. Have you fried and posted up next to a biscuit....
So. Filed a complaint with the Department of Health Services. Did I forget to mention that my neighbor's trash smells like rotting corpses? Shit is FOUL. Everyone on the street has been wondering where the stench was coming from. And this is truly disturbing - my neighbor on the other side of the Suspect Neighbor, said he saw a live GOAT in the yard otha day. Ex-cuse me?
Where's the goat at now, I scream!
He gave me a look like: What the fuck you think?
Awww snap. They done kilt the goat. Lawd lawd lawd.
So. I'ma let the chicken lay in the cut, and not return it to it's captors...nobody can coax the damn thing out from behind the garage anyway. Poor chicken. Maybe it'll try to make some more progress, away from the House of Horrors, once it gets over its post traumatic stress. I can't call it. If it does escape - where the chicken gon' go? Shit is kinda gully down on Crenshaw Blvd. Them hustlas might snatch that chicken up and bootleg sell it. (Yo man, I got a chicken you know you need a chicken....five dollars, son...)
Any which way, it 'aint lookin' good...