Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Supa Says: Summer Break is Evil! (script)

FADE IN:

Close in slowly on SUPA, mumbling and cursing under her breath, while bringing in bags of groceries. (Second time this week, okay? As in, Supa went to the store on SUNDAY. Today's Wednesday.)

SUPA walks in, drops bags on floor, fumbles to pull out grocery receipt. Startles BOY SPAWN, who happens to be settled on sofa. Chillin' like a villian.

SUPA

Man...Either you stop eatin'....or I'ma kill you!!!


BOY SPAWN

Well, mom...if I stop eating..then I'll die....


SUPA and BOY SPAWN stare blankly at one another.

SUPA

Hey. Life is full of decisions, son. MAKE ONE. So what's it gonna be??? Either you stop eatin, or I"ma kill ya. CHOOSE.


BOY SPAWN

I'll..try to stop eating so much.

SUPA

Good. Now go bring the rest of those bags in the house!

BOY SPAWN

I'm too hungry.... What you cooking for breakfast? I want some turkey bacon and potatoes. Did you get some plums? And we outta orange juice. Did you remember to get some? Where the Hansen's at???

SUPA reaches in bag; throws roll of paper towels at BOY SPAWN's dome, as he laughs while going to retrieve bags....

FADE OUT

SO...what'll ya'll think? Could sell this as a film short spec script or somethin'?? Supa needs chedda to keep feeding these kids!!!!! Word...

Lawd....

31 comments:

Knockout Zed said...

If you don't feed 'em, prepare to be turned into Supa Stew. It's two against one.

KZ

Knockout Zed said...

Oh, yeah, FIRST!!!

KZ

bunny said...

That' so funny Supa, I mean I feel ya pain sista. Seems like RR#1, the boy needs a jobby job. LOL!! What's the saying, You don't worka you cain't eata!

Out there in Californ I A, yall don't have a little store called Aldi's do ya?

Start the boy on the college student diet of Ramen noodles and vienna sausage. Ten dollars a week should do him good.

Off topic congratulations to RR#2, the girl on her graduation, was it middle school?

Supa said...

Hi Zeddie! We'll see about that...

@ Bunny: The Boy Spawn has been hittin' the job application trail!! Meanwhile, the law says I still gotta feed him. I like the Ramen idea. I've spoiled these fools...

Thanks on The Girl's graduation - she's headed to middle school. And she's starting to like boys...(gasp)

So glad her daddy carries a gun for a living... lol. Stay tuned...

Cocoa Girl said...

I agree on RR#1 - Jobby Job in full effect! Hell, if I could put Alexa's azz to work, I would! Her Max Cat AIN'T cheap!

Funny on chicky entering middle school :-O

P said...

I uses-ta wonder why my momma would get so mad. I ran through toilet paper like OJ runs through white girls.

Now I understand running my own house, and I'm alone.

And your son is at that age (growing), where no doubt he's a bottomless pit.

Where are the Hansen's at, though, yo?

The Sarccastik Variable Why said...

i feel your pain shawt!!! we spent the same amount you did...then you look at it, and ask yourself...i spent $80 on crap...nothing really big time...no t-bone, no shrimp, no lobster, no snow-crabs....i totally understand...

Diva (in Demand) said...

LOL@bunny and the noodle diet!! Girl I don't know what to tell you. I went to the grocery store and spent over $100 and looked at the clerk crazy as hell. I wanted to see who would flinch first.

Supa said...

@ P: That's the same thing The Boy asked...nunnya bidness.

@ Sarccastik: Maaannnn! Okay. Just crap! Snacks n juice n shit! Last a day, two days, tops!

@ Diva: Sis - you crazy! So who flinched first? :)

@ Cocoa: lol @ "Max Cat"

Supa said...

LOL!!! @ P running thru toilet paper like OJ thru white girls

DP said...

Once upon a time...i was heading a household that contained a set of 12 yr old twins...boy and girl...

and a 22 year old dude who had issues with employment.

Ungrateful bastards ran up about 5 bills in food the FIRST month of summer. and I wasnt eatin..cause my ass was puttin in 60 hours a week.

I put them mofos on Dinner leftovers ramen noodles...and discount frozen pizzas..cut that down to 175 a month

and when the GOOD shit was gone..it was GONE


So...thats how that went...you want better...contribute.


As for me..im glad i got babies.



and that other household went back to a female headed household....since she didnt mind feeding them layabouts gourmet style..i figured she should do it on her income...since she wasnt working when all this happened.

Miss Atl said...

Whats up, love your blog!! I feel you with the going to the store every five minutes. My nephew who is 10 is spending the summer w/ me and my mother, and we are sharing him and 60.00 in groceries last me for 2-3 weeks (sometimes longer) and this negroe goes through that in 3.5 days. a box of cereal ever other day.

All I know, is that this had me running to go get my b.c.'s, because Lawd knows I cant feed another person. Imma have to get a third job to feed his lil azz. Then he has the nerve to want to stay for a school year.. The hayle you say lil' homey, you going home w/ ya mama.

dpm said...

Since birth I've always ate DOUBLE of what my twin broher would eat (and I was always the skinny one).

So one day my moms took me to the doctor to see if I had worms in my stomach. She couldn't beleive that I could eat that much as a 10-year-old kid and there not be anything wrong with me.

The doctor laughed at her...

Miss Ahmad said...

my mother said that there weren't any left overs in my house until i moved away. i ate folks out of house and home in my teen years.

I guess since I was cooking all the damn time that didn't help either!

I guess now I can see why we had shit like carrots and broccoli for snacks and lemons off the tree made lemonade all damn summer. if we wanted a snack we were urged to make dinner.

Snacks are optional on the Eastern Side of Oakland!

African girl, American world said...

too funny!! chile I got 2 plus their daddy and they ain't even teens yet!! What I'm gon do man???

And um, Sis you cooking breakfast for them on a weekday? You's a good one!!!!

Single Ma said...

LOL @ this post and these comments. I fell out when dpm said his mom took him to the doctor. LOL

Damn Sup, $80 every few days? I spend about $250/month on groceries but I think that's too much since it's only two of us. Half of that is prolly snacks and fruit. Oh yea, and cheese. My babygirl luvs cheese. LOL

I try to cook at least every other day but she think she's too good for leftovers. Never in my life... Hmph!

Supa said...

@ DP: "layabouts" That's some funny shit, yo!


@ Ms. Atl: Girl, I hear ya. Send lil' homie BACK!

@ DPM - I've suspected my boy mighta had a tapeworm...but nah. He just greedy.

@ Glam - HA! Ok? These new jack kids got "snacks." Fancy shit. SNACKS was kinda scarce when I was comin' up, too! See how that ole "givin ya spawn a betta childhood than you had" backfires?

@ Mwabs: Sis...I 'ont wanna see YO grocery bill. And yeah - I've got some time off, and I been workin' harder than when I was AT WORK (shhhhhh!)

Supa said...

@ Single Ma: Sis? Two fiddy? Please. Only thing I can think of is - you have A GIRL!! BOYS are GARBAGE disposals!! Got something to do with all that testosterone or somethin'. ??

My spawn too good for leftovers too. Lemme stop. I'm gettin mad.

nikki said...

you can get 800 bags of ramen noodles for that amount of money. yuuuummmmmy!

Supa said...

Question @ Glam or anyone else: What does eating someone out of "house and home" really mean? I mean, I neva really understood it when I was younger...and now I'm good and grown, tell my kids that, and still don't understand it....lol

I mean, isn't house and home the same thing? Why we say it twice?

Genesis said...

lol@ being too good for leftovers. when i was lil my mother was too busy too cook. when i went to SC for a yr. my gran'ma cooked everyday. eating out was a luxury. when i came back to ny i was too good to eat take out...i wanted a home cooked meal by the time i got home. breakfast was real food like oatmeal, cream of wheat...no cold cereal and bagels. NY is good for them bagels and shit.

we run through money here and its just my mother and i...we eat take out because we are too lazy to cook. foodstamps are spent on junk. $500 worth saved up, and we had ice cream and those bootleg beef patties, adn all that shit eith the foodstamps.

Supa said...

Foodstamps??? You got some foodstamps?? Sheeiit. I'm trynta purchase. 50 cent on a dolla still the going rate???

I aint shamed! (I grew up on them joints)

Enjoy!

Free said...

LOL. I just watched "Sanford & Son" where Fred says he quit school to work and support his parents' habit: eating.

The script would sell except too many parents already know it by heart!

Miss Ahmad said...

Supa I think house and home means eating too much at somebody else's house, which is in poor taste especially if you're Southern, and eating too much at home!

I could be wrong, but that's my guess!

Delaleuverses said...

how many times does he eat during the day? well boys do tend to eat more than girls. I recall when I was younger my brother ate everything and anything that's why I used to hide from him cereals and chips under my bed

Diva (in Demand) said...

House and home means the structure and everything in it! That means that yo tail ate soooooooooooooooooooooooooo much that it was the equivalent of the HOUSE and the stuff in it which made up the HOME. LOL

And Supa - SHE FLINCHED FIRST. LOL

Dakota Knight said...

LOL Bunny, I'm with you on the noodle piece. I know I've had my share of Ramens. And don't forget Pot Pies. Is there a Save-A-Lot out there in Cali? You can fill up a cart for cheap, but you do have to pay for the bags...

Epsilonicus said...

I think its about time them kids find a paying talent!!! Can't they sing or dance?!?!? Get them to make some money!! Hahaha lol

Sangindiva said...

Girl I know how it is to have a boy who EATS!!!
with price of gas and general inflation- shiiiit
I'mma help you write the script!!!!!!

Miz JJ said...

Put little price tags on the food and tell your kids they need to buy the food they'd like to eat. Lol. I'm kidding...kinda.

Supa said...

haha @ everybody! I'm going BACK to the store TONIGHT.....

GROWL