I can't believe that I'm sick from all the shit that i drank
last nite - soon as i felt it comin' on, I shoulda quit
it's true that a drunk ain't shit...
~"Tonite," DJ Quik
Get caught up, yo...Birthday Exploits, Part One!
Okay, so: Since basking in the wonderful clarity of 20/20 hindsight, Supa has been analyzing her actions straight CSI style, to properly identify all the variables and what-nots which led up to her becoming supa slammed.
Quick crime timeline as follows:
7:30 PM: Arrive at LAX for departing flight. After all the homeland security bullshit, decide to sit self down at airport bar to have a martini & watch the Heat/Mavericks game. It's all goodie. (Drank #1) Yay Miami!
8:30 PM: Learn flight is delayed an hour. Having a good time chatting it up with fellow bar patrons; turn down offers from random Something New's wantin to buy Supa a drink. (no dice) Supa buys self her own next drink. (like that) Another Ketel One martini with xtra olives. (Drank #2)
9:50 PM: Board plane. Sit next to couple who just eloped. They are ultra excited, and proceed to cell up everyone in their speed dial to report. Generally, Supa likes happy affectionate couples; but Supa could have done without hearing the blow-by-blow details of their relationship, and how her mother was gonna shit her pants once she found out. Ole girl was just a bit too bubbly. And there was no escape. She kept yappin' till the flight attendant came by and told her to shut it down. I gave her a look like: Bitch, turn your cell phone off. You want us to crash?
10:15 PM: Finally coasting at 30 thou. Feelin' a bit...woozy. Shouldn't have had that 2nd martini...(?) Proceed to nap, and maybe accidently elbow ole 'girl. She simply would not shut the fuck up.
11:00 PM: Touch down! Flight lands. Supa's Something Special comes and scoops her. (hey now). What you wanna do, babygirl? Let's hit some spots, daddy-o! We roll out. Supa feelin' kinda nice. The Birthday celebration continues!
'Round Midnight: Arrive at Spot #1. Settle in, have a drank (Drank #3 & 4, actually), talk, touch, take in the sights. Bounce over to the dance floor, groove for a bit, comment on the happy gheys and pre-op transsexuals in our midst. Good times!
'Round 1 AM: Bounce on over to Spot #2. Your regular depressing negro dive. Only there to pick-up some uhhh, refreshments. SUPA DID NOT have a drink at this spot! Though she did take a whiz in the nastiest, foul-smelling, most revolting ladies restroom Supa has seen since using the loo in at a rawdog dancehall club in a third world country. Wow. This may have actually racked up some nausea points...
Losing Track Of Time at This Point: Bounce to Spot #3. Feeling good, as Nina would say. Grown, sexy, and free. (Hot child!) Post up at the bar, take in the sights, yuck it up with the bartender, order our drinks. (Drank # 5). Supa & Something Special get to debating the hype going on about Patron. Supa suggests they do a shot. Inhale the shot, get to movin back in on the martini. Uuuuhhhhhh wooooo!!! Look at...all the pretty lights....what's that chick in the mirror staring at?!?! Aww, snap, that's me......whooo hooo....Slide off the bar stool, and go sit on one of the pretty lounge chairs. Would like very much to go to sleep now.....Ms. Mary mack mack mack, all dressed in black black black....Something Special nudges me, we walk across the street to Spot # 4..........
Time? What's time? That's just some shit the white man made up: Spot #4. Meet up with a cool relative of Something Special's, who happens to be there playing pool. Supa grabs pool stick from cool relative and attempts to hit ball with pool stick. Supa fails miserably, but acts as if she's just achieved a monumental feat. Laughter. Raised eyebrows. The Tender Trio decides to vacate spot, and go outside to partake in the uuhh, refreshments.
Next: Tender Trio decides to call it a night. Cool relative departs, Supa & Something Special head home. Supa and Something Special are suddenly in the pad, despite the fact Supa doesn't remember the drive home, exiting the vehicle, or walking inside...
Umm..the rest of the evening was....cool.
For a variety of reasons - this is my updated story and I'm stickin' to it..
More to come..