Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Hot Chile in the Next City: Birthday Exploits, Part Two!

Wake up Saturday morning and i got a headache
I can't believe that I'm sick from all the shit that i drank
last nite - soon as i felt it comin' on, I shoulda quit
it's true that a drunk ain't shit...
~"Tonite," DJ Quik

Get caught up, yo...Birthday Exploits, Part One!

Okay, so: Since basking in the wonderful clarity of 20/20 hindsight, Supa has been analyzing her actions straight CSI style, to properly identify all the variables and what-nots which led up to her becoming supa slammed.

Quick crime timeline as follows:

7:30 PM: Arrive at LAX for departing flight. After all the homeland security bullshit, decide to sit self down at airport bar to have a martini & watch the Heat/Mavericks game. It's all goodie. (Drank #1) Yay Miami!

8:30 PM: Learn flight is delayed an hour. Having a good time chatting it up with fellow bar patrons; turn down offers from random Something New's wantin to buy Supa a drink. (no dice) Supa buys self her own next drink. (like that) Another Ketel One martini with xtra olives. (Drank #2)

9:50 PM: Board plane. Sit next to couple who just eloped. They are ultra excited, and proceed to cell up everyone in their speed dial to report. Generally, Supa likes happy affectionate couples; but Supa could have done without hearing the blow-by-blow details of their relationship, and how her mother was gonna shit her pants once she found out. Ole girl was just a bit too bubbly. And there was no escape. She kept yappin' till the flight attendant came by and told her to shut it down. I gave her a look like: Bitch, turn your cell phone off. You want us to crash?

10:15 PM: Finally coasting at 30 thou. Feelin' a bit...woozy. Shouldn't have had that 2nd martini...(?) Proceed to nap, and maybe accidently elbow ole 'girl. She simply would not shut the fuck up.

11:00 PM: Touch down! Flight lands. Supa's Something Special comes and scoops her. (hey now). What you wanna do, babygirl? Let's hit some spots, daddy-o! We roll out. Supa feelin' kinda nice. The Birthday celebration continues!

'Round Midnight: Arrive at Spot #1. Settle in, have a drank (Drank #3 & 4, actually), talk, touch, take in the sights. Bounce over to the dance floor, groove for a bit, comment on the happy gheys and pre-op transsexuals in our midst. Good times!

'Round 1 AM: Bounce on over to Spot #2. Your regular depressing negro dive. Only there to pick-up some uhhh, refreshments. SUPA DID NOT have a drink at this spot! Though she did take a whiz in the nastiest, foul-smelling, most revolting ladies restroom Supa has seen since using the loo in at a rawdog dancehall club in a third world country. Wow. This may have actually racked up some nausea points...

Losing Track Of Time at This Point: Bounce to Spot #3. Feeling good, as Nina would say. Grown, sexy, and free. (Hot child!) Post up at the bar, take in the sights, yuck it up with the bartender, order our drinks. (Drank # 5). Supa & Something Special get to debating the hype going on about Patron. Supa suggests they do a shot. Inhale the shot, get to movin back in on the martini. Uuuuhhhhhh wooooo!!! Look at...all the pretty lights....what's that chick in the mirror staring at?!?! Aww, snap, that's me......whooo hooo....Slide off the bar stool, and go sit on one of the pretty lounge chairs. Would like very much to go to sleep now.....Ms. Mary mack mack mack, all dressed in black black black....Something Special nudges me, we walk across the street to Spot # 4..........

Time? What's time? That's just some shit the white man made up: Spot #4. Meet up with a cool relative of Something Special's, who happens to be there playing pool. Supa grabs pool stick from cool relative and attempts to hit ball with pool stick. Supa fails miserably, but acts as if she's just achieved a monumental feat. Laughter. Raised eyebrows. The Tender Trio decides to vacate spot, and go outside to partake in the uuhh, refreshments.

Next: Tender Trio decides to call it a night. Cool relative departs, Supa & Something Special head home. Supa and Something Special are suddenly in the pad, despite the fact Supa doesn't remember the drive home, exiting the vehicle, or walking inside...

Umm..the rest of the evening was....cool.

For a variety of reasons - this is my updated story and I'm stickin' to it..

More to come..


dpm said...

See, 5 Drizzlea woulda did you right. When will y'all learn?...

Oh my... I'm first. How do I do that?

Supa said...

Nah. Don't think Supa can do five of ANYTHING.



dpm said...

I can do 5 of a few things... Depends on my mood.

Supa said...

I meant 5 of anything alcoholic....

what U talkin' bout?..

dpm said...

That's a vague question and so is my comment. It just depends on the 5. But Padron is nasty. Taste like gasoline. Yuk.

Cookies For Elle said...

Interesting...I love your blog. You're Fun. Check me out too:


I will put you up on my blog if you put me up on yours. You Rock!


African girl, American world said...

My incident occured on my 21st bd and a bottle of Alize, Peach Snapps and AfterShock was involved!!! I did not touch a drink for a whole year after that and now 2 drinks is my minimum, 3 when I'm feeling irie :)

Shouts out to Something Special!!!

Diva (in Demand) said...

Sounds like a pure d damn mess. LOL Just hot for no good reason!

Free said...

So why does the old Vanity 6 song "Nasty Girl" keep running thru my head???? LOL

I'm glad it was a GOOD time. (And, wow, now I'm not the only one this year who got that drunk...) "heal myself"... Hmmm. I'ma have to try that next time. Sounds like you also got a little bit of healing Marvin Gaye style.

Girrrrl.... LMAO over here.

Anonymous said...

You are the perfect example of why I hope to never get that drunk ever!! Lol

I am glad you had a good time though.

Anonymous said...

LOL @ you telling him to be quite so you can heal yourself. I do that to. I be like "shut up, I got to throw up"

P said...

Still in Dallas, bitches.

Re: "the rest of the evening/early morning unfolded quite nicely."

Since you're such a master storyteller, you wanna let us in on the zane-esque activities?

Nichelle said...

I'm with Epsilonicus - being drunk is highly overrated!

But I'm glad you had fun anyway.:)

She Breathes said...

Sorry I missed-out on the original day! Thank you for the lovely message.

Feliz aniversário!!!


Sangindiva said...

@ Bitch, turn your cell phone off. You want us to crash?


I can see your face!!!!
you are a fool and a half!!!!
There is soooo much I could comment on
but I will save it for private convo
will you be there on Saturday?

Issey said...

Okay, Okay, I usually read your blog and don't comment (although it's always funny or thoughful) BUT this post brought me out of lurker status officially. You need to go on a comedy tour. HILARIOUS.

When you said "Time? What's time? That's just some shit the white man made up." OMG! Everyone in my office is like "WTH is so damn funny over there?"

Okay dayum, now I gotta go to the bathroom. Laughed too hard!!

Miss Ahmad said...

i think damn blogger ate my comments however I was saying that I am surprised I didn't see you galavanting around the town as I was out and about with my brothers!

happy birfday again!

Single Ma said...

Aww dayum! Looks like I missed the original version of Part Two. Why you being all kryptic 'n shyt?

LMAO @ "what's that chick in the mirror staring at?!?! Aww, snap, that's me......whooo hooo"

Got right then got tight. LMAO! Big ups to Something Special. Glad you had fun girlie!

Supa said...

ha ha @ all you fools!!

@ She Breathes: You're so welcome. Hugs to you.

@ SanginDiva: No can do Saturday. I'ma hit you up on email. :)

@ Issey: lol. Finally brought you out of the shadows, hunh. :) Welcome to the insanity!

@ Glam: Hey! Hope you had a good time roaming your old 'hood!

@ Single Ma: Thanks, ma! Yes (for the most part) I had fun!! No comment on the rest. (ie - the cryptic shit) LOL. Big ups to Something Special. :)

Anonymous said...

Boo...where are the friggin' details???