Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Supa's Spotlight

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Since Supa strongly believes in supporting writers & the literary community, she has now developed the Supa's Spotlight feature, as a regular addition to her blog. (This is where I'm giving ya'll fellow literary gangstas an opportunity to showcase and slang yo' shit.) Please email me at supa_sister@yahoo.com if you'd like to be considered for the Supa's Spotlight. Guidelines & other information to follow.

So! First up to bat is one of my fellow C.S.S./writer colleagues...Hope you enjoy! Be sure to hit me/him up with feedback!

Quick Bio: Dory Boyd is a Los Angeles based freelance writer & comedy ghostwriter, who is currently a contributing writer for EWest Magazine. Dory has written film reviews for various local publications, and his comedic short plays have been featured throughout the greater Los Angeles area.

WHAT THE HEEZIE?…………….

1. Why is it that vince young’s low wonderlic score is an issue, right before the draft? (could it be they don’t wanna pay him) but dan marino had the same or similar score …with no athletic ability …and it wasn’t an issue in him being a productive all-pro quarterback or being selected to the hall of fame.

2. Why are professional black athletes character and conduct monitored and scrutinized more than the political leaders of this country’s character and conduct?

3. Why is it we can accept there are grown folks who are ugly yet in the same breath state that all babies are beautiful? does that mean ugliness evolves? or that when the child was about 7-9 ugly attacked him in his sleep?

4. did anyone out there watch the vh1 show flavor of love? did anyone else think the women were psychotic? no matter what you think of the show, i have to give it to flava flav, he took full opportunity of a great situation. (the brother stuck his tongue down more throats than a doctor’s tongue-depressors during routine throat exams). i give flav props! cause you know the brotha was getting up early to go to work, having a big hearty breakfast, driving the speed limit, with his seatbelt on everyday! i’m talking singing in the mirror, dancing and singing in the shower, flav was enjoying going to work, ya’ll! besides, they wanted to be contestants, they wanted to compete no one told them to get on the show. truth be said i don’t think most women with a gun to their dome would have done what these women were doing willingly. another thing that’s a bit mystifying to me is how was flava flav picked over biz markie and shabba ranks? how’d they miss the cut. (they coulda titled the show ‘getting the biz’ or ‘shabba “luv” rank and file’. when are those two gonna get a similar show? what i’d like to see is a dating game show with a pretty girl asking questions and flav, biz, and shabba being the contestants.
or have it where she has to go on a date with each of them for like a weekend each. with lotsa kissing, ….lotsa kissing.

5. i hear dick cheney’s having a hard time finding anyone who wants to go hunting with him. last i heard he was trying to talk condoleeza into going coon hunting. you know he got his a—cussed out!


6. when did it become cool to be representing for the ghetto? i didn’t get the memo, someone let me know. why do (we) keep buying into this crap, like any of those rich rappers with all those tattoos, and as real as they say still live in the ‘hood? puh-leeze! could it be that they don’t want any real thugs to move out. could that be the reason they keep saying its so GREAT!!!.

7. did anyone see any black people at the oscars? i scanned by television with binoculars and still couldn’t find a black person to save my life. i did see an usher about the same color as sinbad though.

8. listening to charlie wilson’s hit song about performing magic, he was wrong about abracadabra being a magical word to do a trick. ladies if you want to see real magic, and you’re dealing with a loser who you’d like to see disappear. say abraca- PREGNANT (poof) the man disappears….gone! i bet you didn’t realize there were so many magicians up in tha club.

9. remember (not so long ago) if you had super cooler lips, and a big jungle booty you were just too negro for hollywood. then someone in the industry, decides big lips are cute and j-lo walked out of the jungle and got jungle fever. and the next thing you know it you have collagen injections and brazilian butt-lifts all over the place. here’s the thing though, what happens in 2010 when the new asian look rolls in , thin lips and no behind. huh? what are those collagen injected folks gonna do then? here’s a thought …..(sing the rolling stone’s ….i can’t get no sa-tis-fac-tion….)

10. speaking of fads and trends and thangs. everyone has gone tattoo crazy, trouble with law…tat it up. trouble with yah maw….tat it up. trouble with your relationship….tat it up.no reason at all….tat it up. but that’s not really my issue, my thing is these problems have always existed and tattoo’s were not the norm. so what happened that put them on the map to mainstream america. i’ll tell yah, we now live in such a small mtv, cable tv, internet, soup bowl. that people follow whatever they see if its on a screen. folks are scared of only two real things in america, and its not being poor or missing the all you can eat buffet. (though you would think so.) no, folks are scared of being bored and missing out on what’s in. that’s why malls are packed, and why there’s a tattoo shop now in every mall.

11. is it just me or does it seem like food has become everyone’s new best friend? can’t afford a tattoo, have a big mac, some fries, and a shake. wow! that hit the spot. is that a new carl’s jr. (west coast)? nah, still not with me. drive by a in and out , at about 12 noon, you’d think they were handing out free crack! Remember when fastfood spots closed at 10pm, 11pm, 12pm…..not now can you say 24 hours! just in case….yah know!

12. Relationships. Just saying the word and like my girl (Supa Sister), my head starts to hurt. but don’t worry i’m bout to flip this one on its ear. i’m not gonna talk about how sad the state of male/female relationships are, that would be too easy. if you wanna know what kinda shape they’re in, turn on your radio. tune in to one of those stations that plays r & b, with an eleven song rotation. it might be a twenty song rotation but since half of them are saying the same crap, its really an eleven song rotation. if you’re stuck in traffic, or at home chilling listen to all eleven songs….(you might wanna cut your wrist after hearing it). if you listen and don’t want to cut your wrist, don’t worry your man will be out (of jail) soon! (you know how it is when you love a thug, those sentences can be murder on a relationship!)

Dory can be contacted at www.ewestmedia.net or dmice88@yahoo.com

12 comments:

Miss Ahmad said...

*first*

thanks for perking up my morning dory!

onecoolhoney said...

Wow...we are so on the same page. Wait till you see my page with some of our peeps' book covers on it. :) You KNOW who's first, don't ya! ;)

P said...

Sigh.

I think I am in love.

brooklyn babe said...

I look at Professional Sports, such as the NBA as modern day slavery, where the carrot is dangled in front of you, as long at you bounce to take a bite.

Cocoa Girl said...

I [heart] Dory!

Cocoa Girl said...

BTW, great idea, Supa!

Single Ma said...

Hmm I'm likin Dory already.

^^5 on #6. Lawwwwwwwd!

Single Ma said...

BTW, you've been tagged.

mrpunchcar said...

supsis: good idea. great piece.

African girl, American world said...

ok this is some funny stuff. Lemme find the brotha's picture and see what all the sighs (P) are about :) LOL!

On the real, great idea Jamal.

And you's funny Dory!!! Um was you speaking of Ne-Yo (my new Roberta Kelly boy) or was it the'in love with a stripper' dude on #12 LOL!

BTW, um why was the in love with the stripper song on 3 stations at the same time!!!! And now there's a remix version with eerbody on it talking bout I need sckrippa rehab and I need to see Dr. Phil....I bout died from laughter!

Miz JJ said...

Lol! Love this post. As for #2 it's like Chris Rock said. You can paid in America, you can be rich in America, but if you are black whatever you do to get rich better be positive. If one single person gets hurt by what you do then you are fucked.

Free said...

Why am I always LATE getting to the good stuff??? This is great. Laughed my butt off.