Romance, Reality, and the Importance of A Sandwich

So yesterday, a cool co-worker who’s also a writer (not Robert H!) mentioned that he’d just returned from a week’s vacation in Ensenada. So Supa Sister went about in her usual nosey way and asked him if the trip was a romantic type deal, or simply a chill-and-hang-out with-the-fellas thing…and please don’t ask me why, but that simple-ass inquiry spun off into an in-depth conversation/debate on romance and relationships and unrealistic expectations and played-out gender roles and the nature of men and women and the issues and scenarios that often keep us from connecting on an authentic, genuine, and human level.

And Jesus F. Christ, Supa Sista wasn’t really trying to get into all that, okay? I'm more interested in trying to figure out who The Carver is on Nip/Tuck. Besides, talking about relationships makes my head hurt, and that’s my girl Jude’s specialty, not mine…But it turned out to be an enjoyable, perspective-swapping, funny-ass conversation with a delightful and witty brotha, and truth be told, we fucked off the rest of the afternoon on company time by entertaining ourselves with our insightful email banter. Heh.

And now...Supa Sister remembers what kinda jump started the whole conversation. I was testing his rile factor by purporting that Supa Sister had indeed already figured out what men really want. And that is: They want a woman to give him some good head, play with his balls, and then go fix him a sandwich. That’s it.

Hey. That’s what Dave Chapelle said.

So my cool co-worker went on to say that statement wasn’t ‘necessarily’ true, and how we as women tend to make even the simplest thing complicated, how we complain and seem to thrive on unnecessary drama (at least that’s what Chris Rock said), and then I conceded that maybe yes women have unique ways of verbally expressing themselves and some of us can be downright nags, but ya’ll shouldn’t be so sensitive and make it seem like we're trying to slice your balls off simply because we ask you to please take out the trash. For the fiftieth time. Heh.

And then he busted out with a very interesting analogy, that went something like: imagine women being like the gifted children in the class and men being like the slow ones, and that you can’t expect the slow kids to speed up to the gifted kids’ levels, and the gifted kids need to take the time to help out their slower brethren, and when they do so, they need to talk using small words and speak very slowly. Or...something like that. And I think (?) he was kind of saying that we chicks have to have a little more patience and understanding, realize that men and women speak a different “language”, and that with good enough game, we can more or less bring a brotha up to speed with without beating him down with the stupid stick.

In other words…. Just give him some good head, play with his balls, and then go fix him a sandwich.