So all that execution mess yesterday started me thinking....what must it feel like to know, with the utmost degree of certainty - that your life is about to come to an end within a few short hours? Hell, even within a few months or years? What do you say to yourself, the people in your life? Would you be resigned? Calm? Pissed? Sad? Peaceful? Regretful? Would you start to put certain things in motion that you've been putting off, and putting off...Because really, we all know we're going to die. But unlike Stanley, we (probably) don't know the exact time, date, method, or circumstance for which it'll take place. Which is probably good, because how many of us could handle that type of knowledge. But then again - what if we did know? What if we had an unshakeable premonition (like Supa Sister has had since she was a kid), or a condition or disease (like Supa Sister's mom) that put a time period on our days? And an even better question - do we live every day like it may be our last, regardless? Why or why not?
All this reminds me of one of Supa Sister's favorite movies called "My Life Without Me". It's about this young married chick with two small daughters who finds out she has terminal cancer. She tells no one, and then decides to live her life with a passion she never had before.Upon learning she had about two months to live, she wrote a THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE list in her journal, which was:
1. Tell my daughters I love them several times a day.
2. Find Don a new wife who the girls like.
3. Record birthday messages for the girls for every year until they're 18.
4. Go to Whalebay Beach together and have a big picnic.
5. Smoke and drink as much as I want.
6. Say what I'm thinking.
7. Make love with other men to see what it's like.
8. Make someone fall in love with me.
9. Go and see Dad in Jail.
10. Get false nails. And do something with my hair.
I've often wondered what it would feel like to write that list. What would be on my list? What would be on yours?
Also reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from Shawshank Redemption:
"Get busy livin', or get busy dyin'.."
Man. This is the kinda shit Supa Sister thinks about, when she's not oversleeping, over boozing, being stalked, or being silly.
6 comments:
Nah, sis, this ain't some ol' bullshit. This has been on my mind since last year more and more lately (you already know why), but a list with that kind of finality...(sigh) stressful. I've been thinking about it, but WRITING it? Not quite there yet.
I'm with you, Cool Sis. Having a mental list is one thing...writing it down is another. Deep.
This is pretty dern interesting and certainly something that I have not thought about before. Hmmmmm, let’s see:
1. Get married
2. Have a child
3. Finish my degree
4. Tell my friends and family how much I love them
5. Live life to the fullest
This is all I can think of right of the top of my head.
On checking out: I think it would be advantageous to have a heads up that you are actually getting ready to leave this joint; if for nothing else then to ask for forgiveness and to say "I Love You."
I have a wish list but I live my wish list. Slightly selfish I am but why fake the funk?
I sat here and wondered what went through Stanley Tookie Williams head at that moment.
I don't think I could write a list, but I have started putting my "to do" list in action. I'm going to stop saying "one day" and start definately listing dates for things I want to do. I'm definately not getting any younger!
From a very young age I have always been pre-occupied with the worrying thought of my death. You are absolutely right, I think that knowing you are going to die one day is one thing, but knowing when is another. I think that as much as we think it would help us live our lives to the fullest; that is not necessarily true, at least not for me. If I knew I was going to die a month from now for sure yes I would make a list and try and do things I have always thought I want to do before I die. However, I think doing those things with that little voice in the back of my mind constantly and knowing this is the last time I get to do this, or knowing as much as I am enjoying this I will not be able to ever again. Those thoughts alone and the melancholy attached to that would not allow me to fully enjoy the action. Where on an average day that thought is not tormenting me I enjoy what I am doing yet, if I die tomorrow I did not have that torture of those thoughts in my head. We fear the unknown so much and since what happens after death is so unknown that is what is so scarry.
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