Holiday Antics, Part II

So after Supa Sister/Ms. Mom dropped off RR#1 at his pal’s pad, she and Ruff Ryder #2 (The Girl) decided to zip on over to Border’s to browse and read and shop and sip tea. No dice. It was New Year’s eve, and apparently Border’s had better things to do than entertaining Supa and her lovely spawn because they posted a rather ugly sign indicating they were closed early because of the holiday. Shit.

Now Supa would be forced to find other activities to keep The Girl occupied and happy, which is more than a notion because said Girl is supa precocious and all diva-fied and high-maintenance, and she’s contantly broadcasting her wants needs desires dreams college choices travel plans next shopping spree and what happened last week in ballet class, etc. Who knows where she gets all that self-involved bullshit from.

So Supa Sis and The Girl walk to the movie theater across the outdoor mall. Proceed to stand outside for twenty minutes engaging in our individual hissy fits about which movie we want to see and why. And Supa must interject here that she is very tired of succumbing to every whim of an eleven year old child. Supa wanted to put her high-heeled boot down and drag The Girl to see Munich or Syriana or even The Family Stone, but Girl then reminded her that she promised to take her to see Chronicles of Narnia for pulling down straight A’s and making student of the month.

Supa was stuck.

So Supa pays the five hundred dollars to get some damn refreshments, and we’re off to see the fucking Chronicles. Supa was salty, which didn’t bode well for the rest of the evening. At. All. So I will begin the rant here:

If you are forced to make a decision between going to see Chronicles of Narnia or sticking flaming hot needles in your eyes, go ahead and warm up those needles. Sitting through that stupid movie was the most grueling exhausting offensive shit Supa has had to endure in a long long time.

First off, the child actors in that flic were some of the most gruesome-looking set of non-acting cracker kids I’ve ever had the displeasure to witness in my entire fucking life. Look:



And the Girl didn’t even seem to notice. Which pissed Supa off even more, ‘cause she can’t stand being forced to look at the kind of fugly ass average white kids who would no doubt grow up and try to oppress her beautiful highly intelligent and gifted melanin-blessed kids, if her kids were the kind who didn’t have a Supa Mom to properly educate (cough*indoctrinate*cough) them about the realness of this racist country and the sterotypes in the media and the bullshit of the over-idolized european standard of beauty and all that kind of stuff right there. So needless to say, Supa was heated like ten minutes into the damn movie. And she was huffing and puffing and made a big deal of voicing her displeasure to The Girl about actually being railroaded into paying for this load of crap. (not to worry, the Ruff Ryders are quite accustomed to Supa Sister’s snarky ways)

And another thing. Supa Sis knows Chronicles is based on C.S. Lewis' ‘The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe,’ Supa read it when she was little, but with all those gnomes and fawns and centurians and ugly white witches with dreadlocs all other sorts of wacky “unique” characters portrayed in this “fantasy film,” Supa immediately noticed that there wasn't nare a black folk in sight. Not a one. It’s 2005/06 and I can’t get even one colored representation on the screen where every other human-half-animal under the sun exists in this so called “fantasy world?” Apparently not. So fuck Narnia. It can stay in the fucking wardrobe for all I care.


Next time, I’ll promise the girl some cash.

That is all. Carry on.