Friday, December 29, 2006
Happy Holidays (and Puberty) at the Supa Pad....
So Supa and RR#2 were getting all primped and ready to indulge in some after-Xmas shopping this morning, and we so just happened to bump into each other while getting dressed - post-shower. (only one downstairs bathroom - growl.)
Interjection: Supa was well aware that The Girl (RR#2- now 12 and a half) had been growing her "buds" since late summer. However - Supa was ill prepared to witness the growth happening uh....down below.
So Supa, fighting a case of wicked case of naseau while witnessing her youngest child's blossoming womanhood, fell swiftly into liberal mom mode and began to (again) blithely discuss with The Girl, the wonders of becoming a young lady, and how to honor and take care of oneself physically, emotionally and otherwise, and all sorts of other female womanly shit, blah, blah blah.
All the while, Supa couldn't wait to get on the horn to advise, plot, and plan with RR#2's daddy - The Supa-Ex. (divorced 7 years. Now we're BFF)
Conversation as follows:
Supa: Okay listen. Our girl's growing her pubes. The buds - I know you knew. But the pubes. Did you know that?!?
Supa-Ex: Nah. Damn. I didn't know that. But...how would I know that? She doesn't even let me walk into the bathroom when she's in there!
Supa: (mindlessly rambling) Yeah, so I figure she's got about 5, 6 months tops before she gets her cycle. I mean it's ok...we've been talking about this stuff since she's was nine...we knew it was coming. Damn. Our little girl is growing up. So beautiful. I think I'm gonna be sick.
Supa-Ex: Well, Supa. We're doing a good job. Been schooling her early on. And it's a damn good thing I carry a nine for a living. I'll pop a cap in a fool's ass, any knucklehead even think of touchin' my babygirl. What you wearing?
Supa: Pink pajama pants and a boy-beater. Sittin' in front of the fireplace.
Supa: Yep. Black bikinis. But bra-less. Titties all loose.
Supa: So, have another one of those daddy-daughter talks, okay?
Supa-Ex: No doubt. I'll handle it. She'll be fine. You'll be fine...
Supa: Hey, you know they just killed that mufucka Sadaam? I mean, I turned on the news at 6 and they were still transferring his ass. Watched a movie, turned the news back on, and next thing I know, they done hung his butt!
Supa-Ex: Pour out some liquor!
Supa: Gangsta down! Is there a heaven for a "G?" Think he kickin' it with Tookie?!
Supa-Ex: No tellin'. So, hey. Duty calls. Car pursuit on the 405. Gotta bounce. Turn on the news.
Supa: Okay, Supa Daddy. Handle ya biz. I'll flash you if I see ya.
Supa-Ex: (sigh) Pubic hair, hunh?
Supa: Pubes. Our little girl...
Supa and Supa-Ex: Goooddd daaamn....
Supa: Later, Mr. LAPD. Don't beat nobody's ass.
Supa-Ex: Take your panties off.
Supa: Pervert. Tell your new wife to take her panties off.
Supa-Ex: Aw, that's cold-
Happy fucking holidays!!